hypothetical: bottle of liquour; how in trouble; how fast?

[Los Feliz Slim]

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One story comes to mind - the first time I met him, he funneled a bottle of scotch and followed it up with about a pint of vodka all in under 5 minutes and then switched to beer. About 4 beers into it (maybe 30 minutes after the liquor) he complained of his stomach hurting so he ate a houseplant to settle it. He was moving the next day so all his stuff was in boxes, he peed all over all the boxes, said it was too much hassle to actually move them, lit them on fire and went to bed.

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Gold!