Deuce, Deuce, Deuce: a Vegas trip report in 2 parts

[mr giles]

At 1:30 am on Wednesday, June 28, I switched off my monitor and left my software engineering position at the office to begin my 14 day Vegas vacation. I collected my wife and we went down the street for a drink at Green Valley Ranch sports book bar. They have the best Guinness draft on the south side, especially now that Fado closed. After a few of those we decided it would be a good idea to go home and shave my head into a mohawk. You know, so I'll remember I'm on vacation. We did so.

Wednesday night.
I sported the 'hawk back to GVR for some 4/8 HE action. As I sat, I noticed the players averted their eyes quickly when they met my huge mirrored shades and fresh new haircut. The Hawaiian shirt I chose failed to show the intended warming effect - I'd frightened the retirees. They passed me as many chips as they could in 2 hours, which amounted to about $200. I declared myself ready for my tournament the next day and went to get drunk at PT's with my wife.

Thursday (Deuce I)
We arrived dried out and nauseous at Binions around 1:00pm. The man at the tournament registration desk was on the phone. "Yes, the deuce event is still on. 2 pm. We have 52 right now. Okay." He looked at me. "54" I said, and handed him $200. We got our seat cards. My wife ordered a ham and cheese at the snack bar. I broke out in a cold sweat at the sight of it. As the tournament began I ordered a coffee with Baily's. "Whip cream?" she asked. The mohawk forced me to say "Do I LOOK like I drink whip cream?" I regreted it, as I immediately got my pat 96 raised on the river. I called because I suck, and saw my first wheel of the day.

We had begun 5 handed, fighting for the dead money with liberal reraises. My stack continued to erode. When the empty seat finally showed, he titled immediately after missing a wheel draw and began raising every hand dark. My stack returned to about 20 big bets (we start with 17.) The always well-dressed and smiling TT wandered over from his table, pointed at my head, grinned out an "I love it!" and vanished. I hadn't seen him since our regular Saturday night 4/8 mixed game at the Wynn stopped coming together. I was glad to see him, but his presense, as always, means I'm about to lose all my chips playing some non-Hold'em game. Thursday it was Deuces, where my fishy hit felt with me heads up, finally caught his wheel to my 85, and took 1/4 of my stack. Pretty soon something else upset him and he got up with an "I QUIT!" abandoning his stack of 10 big bets. That meant I was now the worst player at the table. I took a pat 97 all in 3 ways and lost to a two card draw that made an 8, just as the drink girl arrived with my Bud Light. I took it and exited.

At the rail TT and I discussed the WSOP deuce event to take place the next day. He figured 6-8K was about the right number to take. My bankroll was an even $200 at this point. A little short. My wife and I left Binions to wander Fremont. TT had informed me earlier that I looked like I had stepped straight out of Taxi Driver. Impressive, but not the look I was going for. Some large Elvis shades should tone me down some. If you could go anywhere in the world to find Elvis glasses, downtown Vegas would have to be high on the list, right? Two sunglass stands and six t-shirt shops later, we finally found something passable and headed home to eat.

Thursday Night
That night I hit Wynn to see if I could get hot. I was heartbroken to see not one but TWO other mohawks in the poker room. They were sitting together at a 2-5 NL game glaring hatefully at me whenever our eyes met. I went and hid in a 4-8 game in the 1 seat, listening to Prodigy MP3's cause I'm punk rock. I neither spoke nor played a single hand for 3 orbits. The table was very loose but passive, so the pots were not huge. That changed when I got 55 in MP1 and open limped. Most of us saw the flop of 5h 6h Ts. I opened, 1 call, a WSOP dealer in 5 called, old dude in 7 raised, 1 cold call, I reraised, WSOP woke up and reraised, I capped. Turn was 2h and screw it I blasted away, WSOP and old dude call ???? River 2s I bet WSOP called old dude called. WSOP had the nut heart flush and old dude had an overpair. Ship it! I won and lost some other pots and walked away up a little over 100. At the sports book bar, the bartender didn't even blink at a mohawk requesting a Pinot Noir. I gambled for it - $20 on $1 deuces. Bets 1, 2, 3 all lose. Bet 4 is trips. Bet 5 is a single deuce that fills a soft royal. +$80 - Ship it! After a $10 tip, I'm at $400, not quite half of what I need for a shot at my WSOP bracelet.

Friday afternoon
I've been playing and breaking even in the $125 and $175 single tables at the Rio for weeks. I figured it was my day to win, so I hopped in the Camry and made the 12 minute commute to the WSOP, rehearsing my why-I-can't-chop speech. The flood of people coming out of the Amazon room told me some big tourney was on break. Yep, the $2000 NLHE or some such, but uh oh! They closed satellites today because the tourney was to big! Q: how do you turn $400 into $1000 in 3 hours? A: Gamboolz! The 2/5 NL cash list scrolled down the board, across the floor, and out into the parking lot. I wasn't ready to try the pit ... yet. I marched back to the Camry and drove across 15 to the Bellagio. I've played around 100 hours of 2/5 there over the years, and probably booked 1 win ever. Why not?

I start at the VP bar to cool the nerves. My chardonnay order didn't disturb this bartender either, WTF? I walked even this time and went to check on my seat. I was placed in the 10 seat at a table by the rail that used to be 15/30. Oh, I had definitely lost here before. I scan the table. Based on faces, posture, table awareness, and chip handling skills, I predicted 4 or 5 late 20's tags, 2 calling station kids, 1 really solid lag, and 1 middle-eastern gambling fool (MEGF.) Lag is opening every other pot preflop and cbetting. He's working over the kids and MEGF and giving money to the tags for break even poker on a 1K stack. After watching a couple orbits I steal two small pots in position. Fourth orbit in I am third limper with Ah7h, six of us see the flop of Ts 9h 2h. Lag checks, MEGF opens for $20, folds to me I make it $50, MEGF calls? I put him on mid pair or a smaller flush draw. Turn is 2d, MEGF bets $30, further confirming my read. River is Th for a board of Th Ts 9h 2h 2d, and he grabs a stack of read and starts breaking it down into $10 piles. He puts together 8 of these, eyeballs the board, gets $10 more, looks at me, gets $20 more, stacks it and pushes it in leaving himself around $300 behind. Clearly he is trying to push me out. I don't think a 9 or smaller flush will call my push so I smooth call. He shows the 9 and my flush takes it!

Now I had a dilemma. I had around $600 and 110 minutes till 5pm post. Gamble for the $400 or go see ATM? After consulting with my wife, I decided since I had wanted to play in a WSOP event for years and this particular event for months, I should just grab the cash and go do it. With my heart pounding in my ears and my hands shaking, I got the Camry out of valet and head back to the Rio. WSOP deuces baby!


Continues soon...