Things your close ones has said that surprised/shocked you.

[Lanzalot]

Try these on for size. All are from my Dad, when I was around 9-12 years old.

We were leveling a big pile of dirt with shovels and he said "Digging is just like f*ing: get it down there and move it."

"I shouldn't have f*d your mother last night. She gets sassy when I f* her."

Me: "Dad, why don't you like me?"
Him: "I do like you, just not as much as I like your brother."

Can't say the last one surprised me much, actually, now that I think about it. What a piece of work he was.