Beat: cute girl at video store is totally barking mad + MSPAINT

[SNOWBALL]

MSPAINT Cliffs notes at bottom:

A few weeks ago, I meet this cute girl at the video store, and she gives me her number. She seemed really weird, but pretty nice. Anyway, I didn't call her for the last few weeks, because I was putting it off and I'm not that into her.

Tonight I run into her again. She says Hi, and immediately starts molesting me physically. First she hugs me, then she starts touching my face and my hands "what is that on your face?"
"Ummmm, I dunno?"
"I dunno"
"Is it a pimple?"
"Well, I have a mole"
"Oh, you have a mole?"
"Yeah...."

So then I go inside to find my dvd, because videos are serious business. She follows me around, after she gets her DVD, and then she starts to detail her medical problems, and criminal history for me. I think about 60% of this is imaginary. Occasionally, she asks me a question like "Did you study computer programming?" "Uhhhhh, no"
Or "Do you go to the gym" and then she continues to tell me her life story with a memento-esque narrative that is impossible to understand.

Anyway, when I left the video store, she followed me out, and asked me for a ride to her car. So I say ok. When I drive her to her car, it becomes pretty clear that what I just did made no sense whatsoever, because it ended up being more walking for her.





I pull up beside her car to drop her off, but she doesn't get out. Instead, she continues talking about stuff that makes no sense at all. And occasionally, she will ask me a question that makes even less sense and with absolutely no context "Do you think persian males have a reputation for hoeing their girlfriends out?"
"No?????"

Then she's about to leave my car, when instead she just starts CRYING. ????? I ask "why are you crying?"
She says "My ex boyfriend who is a doctor gave a massage to someone for 40 dollars and I saw him do it, and I'm a masage therapist. I just need people to treat money as favors. I have so many medical bills and I might have cancer (she doesn't have cancer). Tomorrow, I am going to give Richard Rodriguez a depp groin massage (??????) and I need to show him a video of me so I can get acting work...."
etc etc etc.

I think she spent like 45 minutes in my car with this spiel.

Brag: cute girl at video store was physically molesting me
Beat: She's a looney toon
Variance: I'm supposed to meet her for lunch tomorrow

cliffs notes: