My degenerate tendancies....anyone have similar?

[ski]

I've been making a living playing poker full time for 1.5 years and am mostly playing 2/4NL-5/10NL now.

For some reason I still am willing to pay people off on the river sometimes largely to feed my own curiosity. I "know" I am behind, but still call for a few hundred dollars. I avg a few hundred dollars an hour so it doesn't seem like a lot of money to me, but when I look back on it It is TONS.

It is a really odd feeling. Like my logic just completely shuts down and I make entirely emotional decisions. Afterwards it is like I get thrown back to earth.

It doesn't happen anywhere near enough to make me a fish but I bet it would add 1-2PTBB/100 if I could control this.

I've thought "JUST DONT DO IT" but somehow occasionally when the situation comes up it still happens. It feels beyond rational thought

thoughts?/sympathies?