B&M Cliches

[private joker]

Play enough live poker and you start to hear so many cliches from table chatter that you wanna just rip your own ears off. A lot of these are 80 year-old stale "jokes" that, amazingly, people still think are funny. Others are just pathetic one-liners that say nothing and simply tell me that the player is a gigantic piece of Samsonite.

Examples:

* When two guys turn over the same hand and chop the pot, one guy (usually the older, nittier one) always has to say, "You play that junk?!" with a knowing wink, indicating to everyone he has a sense of humor -- because, you see, HE played the SAME cards!

* After someone loses a big pot, in the very next hand they raise preflop and say, "Steam raise!" or "Now you guys got me on tilt!" or something like that. Of course this means he has a monster.

* When somebody checkraises, some guy usually trapped in the middle of it has to say, "Chicken raise!" If not, then he will flop nothing in first position and say, "I check and raise" but when somebody bets, he laughs and folds.

* "Cappuccino!"

* When someone has been card-dead for a while, he will usually say, "Hey dealer! Are there any face cards in that deck?!" This is often followed by somebody else saying, "Setup!"

* The one guy not in the hand will see a ragged flop and say, "Give me my cards back!" Then he looks around the table smiling, looking for affirmation of how funny he is.

I had like ten of these in mind when I decided I was going to start this thread, but I forgot some. Anyway, what else ya got?