help me become a better arguer/negotiater

[ScottyP431]

You should read a book called "sleight of mouth".

The basic premiss is that to negotiate or win an argument you need to control the premiss of the argument, called the frame. You want to control the frame. You control the frame not by making arguments, but by resolving arguments.

When people argue its normally like

Person 1:X
Person 2: Y
Person 1: But what about X
Person 2: No, what about Y

Controlling the frame means setting the terms of the debate such that X or Y is more important than the other.

Simplistic example
Person 1: Lets eat at mcdonalds , their fries are crispier
Person 2; no, burger king, their fries are saltier
Person 1 controls frame: You can alwyas add more salt yourself, but can't make the fries crispier yourself, so we should go to mcdonalds

More complex example
Person 1: The iraq surge is essential to demonstrate US leadership by showing we can follow through on combat committments
Person 2: But sending more troops to Baghdad will fail and cause a civil war
Person 1 (attempts to control frame): But iraq is already in a state of civil war, therefore we should try and salvage a bad situation by saving our international deterrent image
Person 2 reframes: US image is already devestated due to the invasion and drawn out counter insurgency campaign

This is similar to the ice cream example in the movie mentioned earlier. An argument has 2 parts:

A claim- Tax cuts are good for the economy
A warrant- They stimulate investment by putting more money in the hands of the people

Most people don't understand the warrants behind their claims, so they are the weakest/easiest part to attack