banging chicks from myspace.com

[d10]

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Hadn't checked this thread in awhile. I am appalled at how badly so many of you suck at this. Seriously. wtf is with that whole "inside?" [censored], omfg that is so [censored] stupid whoever thought that [censored] up should just hit himself in the face with a [censored] shovel, my god. I just did a quick search of women in my area and found a hot chick who I'd like to have sex with at some point in the future. Here is what I wrote to her:

"Hiya! If you haven't yet browsed through my profile, then you might not know that my name is Chase. Well, it is. Nice t'meetcha, or whatever one calls writing letters at random persons whom one has never met before. I guess this doesn't really qualify as meeting you.

I don't know you, and your profile failed to provide me with any significant clues regarding whether or not I think we'd get along alright. But that's okay, because you did post a pair of pictures that I find absolutely stunning. That's sort of why I'm writing this, because if you are anywhere near as awesome as you are gorgeous, then I think I'd like you one helluva lot.

I do apologize if that seems shallow, and I shouldn't blame you at all if you were to disregard what I've written for that very reason. However, I'd really appreciate it if you wrote back and let me know a bit about yourself. It would kick so much ass if we were to hit it off.

Hopefully I'll talk to you later. Right now I'm going to go make myself a big glass of chocolate milk. Yummy!"

I am considering taking 15-30 minutes or so of my time to make [censored] a profile that I think will score him lots of ass. I lack the motivation right now but maybe sometime in the future.

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On top of what everyone else has mentioned about this approach, I'm thinking you'll get a lot of responses saying "tl;dr", or more likely, no response at all for that reason. Once contact is established you can write longer, but for initial contact, I think beyond 4-5 sentences just comes across looking a bit strange.