Help me become Pharrell or Danger Mouse

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First you need The Manual. In fact, you would do well to study Bill Drummond's whole career. While he wasn't completely lacking in musical talent, it was obviously not his strength. After that you just need an outlandish persona (done and done), and connections to get a few gigs (again simple for a man like you). The only thing surprising about your post is that you aren't a star already.