The Eight Foot Two Schlub

[Knockwurst]

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He'd be a superstar. Not only would he start but he'd be the most dominant player in the league and could probably take a last place team to the NBA Finals.

The parameters specified pretty much describe Shaq plus a foot! This guy would be way better than Shaq after a little practice and conditioning. He'd be just about unstoppable by any defender in the league on post plays.

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Dude, you obviously know nothing about basketball.