How Do You Know Whether You're Too Drunk To Drive?

[edfurlong]

My last time driving drunk was at eighteen. I was driving downhill on a dirt road in Anchorage, I tried to make a right, failed and jumped over a ditch and a bike path, plowed head on into a stump. Totaled the car and walked away with a bloody nose.

I was headed downtown, so I consider it a great outcome. I was seeing a girl who's dad was killed by a drunk driver at the time, it blows my mind that I was once dumber than I am now.