The Great Cashew Trainwreck

[00T Historian]

Listen my ootiots and you shall hear,
Of the Great Cashew trainwreck,
’06 was the year.

OOT women make us crazy,
This we all know.
In our angst we seem bitter,
But we love them all so.

There’s the bold ones, the shy ones, the ones in between,
Funny ones, uptight ones, some that aren’t what they seem.
They push all the right buttons when they send their emails.
They’ll make your heart pound, I can say, without fail.

Your PM button’s flashing, has she troubles to tell?
Or maybe she’s lying there with desires to quell?
What is she sending? Her boobs in a pic?
Does she want to talk dirty; give your imagination a lick?
It doesn’t matter, your stomach’s achurn.
It’s that damn flashing envelope causing the burn.

And they come from all over, from rocky mountain high,
The great frozen north, and beneath Texas skies.
Where does not matter to a poker shut-in,
She’s part of OOT now, who cares where she’s been?

So back to our hero, Anacardo, it seems,
Hooked into two potential girls of his dreams.
For obvious reasons, they’ll remain nameless.
Though some might say, their behavior is shameless.

Now our nutboy’s wicked smart, and a really nice dude.
But true love for a woman, for him was something new.
Things twice fell apart, and great angst he did feel.
So he turned to drunk dialing, and rumors flew with great zeal.

But one thing about Anacardo, he’s honest to a fault.
So though this tale should’ve remained in a vault,
Our hero told his side, since the gossip was out there,
And as it usually is, OOT’s judgement was fair.

He’s not psycho, not a stalker,
Not a lying fast talker.
He’s just an angst-filled drink dialer.
Tell me who hasn’t been there?