Letter to my parents (LONG)

[Blarg]

Very snotty, aggressive ending there. If you were hoping to get across your maturity and good judgment with the rest of the letter somehow, the ending completely torpedoed it.

Good thing you don't intend to show it to them.

Also, note that you think your life kicks ass because of two things that are after all fairly trivial. Those reasons your life kicks ass sound like they come from someone still very much a child.

Your life significantly kicks ass in a way that you didn't mention, and your not mentioning it slights your parents. That is, your whole life is being made possible by their caring for you. They'd probably like to think it wasn't taken so entirely for granted that you don't mention it at all, while mentioning things like a skimboard and a vacation to watch a couple of sports events. When you mention the high points of your life and include skimboards but exclude your own family, the least negative thing that could be said about it is that it just doesn't look good.

I don't know your family situation or how reasonable your parents are or aren't, or what kind of backstories all fold into this poker issue and influence what's going on with it. But it sounds like there is confrontation where there should be discussion, and from the tone and general outlook of your letter, it sounds like some of the problem is definitely coming from you. You sound like a kid talking back to his parents instead of an adult talking with his parents.

P.S.: Consider buying a laptop and getting in some of your poker outside the house. There's a Starbucks almost everywhere. It might simply goad your parents less on the one hand, and on the other help them worry less that you're becoming a hermit while all the other boys are out playing cowboys and Indians.

Also, you could take a load off their minds by telling them you're not spending those 25 hours a week playing poker, but compulsively masturbating.