OT- Free coaching/lap dances!

[bones]

For various reasons, I've decided to get some business cards printed up in the next week or so. Since I play for a living, the title was just going to be "poker player", but that seems sort of lame/boring. Anyway, I'm interested in something more funny/ironic.

I'm looking for suggestions on a title. The card will be very basic with just my name, title, and phone #. If you post an original suggestion and I use it, I'll either review and fully annotate 2 of your HHs or buy you a lap dance if you're going to be in vegas this summer.

Thanks.