Question for happily married people

[RacersEdge]

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I wish I could read these threads and come away with the idea that I really want to get married.

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Marriage is not for everyone.

I've been married 14 years now and intend to be with the same woman until I'm gone from this place. The only "secret" to making it this long that I can lay claim goes back to before making the decision to get married that "divorce was never an option" (except under extreme circumstances). By setting that as the standard, you can work through anything. Since none of our disagreements enter divorce as the ultimate option of possible outcomes, it has never headed in that direction. If divorce "is" an option for something less than an extreme situation, then it can often resonate in some of the arguments you may have with your spouse.

Is my wife the only person that could make me happy? Probably not, but I realize I have a good thing and I don't want to screw it up. I enjoy going home each night to my wife and kids--they need me and I need them.

Also, a "happy marriage" does not mean that there are not disagreements and unpleasant times. Many people say that the happiest times of the lives were the first couple of years they were married; I've always said that I'd never go through the first couple of years of my marriage again. Getting adjusted from a free swinging bachelor (selfish, self-centered individual) to a person with obligations and commitments was a difficult adjustment that took a while to get through.

I hope this helps.

dandy

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I don't doubt that I could get married and "make it work", just like there is no doubt I could stay at my current job for 30 years. The question is that the best thing to do considering all the options? Being forced to make a marriage work through compromise and sacrifice doesn't seem like the best state to be in.