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  #91  
Old 07-27-2007, 01:10 PM
elcastigador elcastigador is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: gettin back my tacos
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Default Re: worst sexual experience you\'ve ever had

thread [censored] delivers, will post my story when I'm not at work. lolz sexaments. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
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  #92  
Old 07-27-2007, 01:13 PM
biendover biendover is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Massage Parlor
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Default Re: worst sexual experience you\'ve ever had

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Back in college I took this girl home. We were both pretty hammered from drinking and other substances. We started mashing in my car on the driver's seat. She was wearing a skirt and jumped right on top of my one-eyed friend. Crappy thing is that I put it in her butt instead. When I pulled out, crap fell all over my lap and I had to drive home with chit and stank smell in my car. It smelled so bad that I had to vomit, hands smelled like crap so I couldn't touch my mouth to stop the vomit- so I just threw up on my lap. Then I go back to my apt and all my friends were in the living room and I see that I had poo and throw up on my lap.

College Rocks!!

[/ QUOTE ]
[*]this rly happend

[/ QUOTE ]


Unfortunately it did happen.
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  #93  
Old 07-27-2007, 01:16 PM
biendover biendover is offline
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Default Re: worst sexual experience you\'ve ever had

Window was already rolled down. But I had crap on my right hand. Was driving with my left and didn't want to change hands in fear of having perma crap smell on my steering wheel.

Made it awkward for me to throw up out the window over my left arm. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]
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  #94  
Old 07-27-2007, 01:26 PM
TheDoubleA TheDoubleA is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2007
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Default Re: worst sexual experience you\'ve ever had

Backstory: 10 years ago. Im 16, she is 15. Short thick type with a great as and huge [censored], while still being somewhat skinny with a flat tummy. She has slept with one person one time, so basically a virgin.

She comes over after school and says that her mom has to pick her up in 30 minutes. We quick go outside to smoke a bowl. When we come in, I suggest that it would be a great idea for me to get some head. Surprisingly, she agrees. She we sit down on the couch and she begins to do the lolipop deal, but not really getting down to business. I sort of coax her into putting it down her throat. She starts to do this and it felt nice.

Because she had limited experience with this type of thing, I think she got some [censored] mixed up. She took the phrase 'blow job' seriously. She blew my dick. Like a [censored] horn. I dont know what the [censored] happened, but it pushed the skeet that was wanting to come out, right back in my balls. IT HURT. As i was going to stop her, her mom honked the horn and she grabbed her stuff and had to go.

I had to beat it as soon as she left to bust a nut because it was so uncomfortable.

Edit: spelling
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  #95  
Old 07-27-2007, 01:28 PM
Brad1970 Brad1970 is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: South of the Mason-Dixon line
Posts: 1,815
Default Re: worst sexual experience you\'ve ever had

[ QUOTE ]
Back in college I took this girl home. We were both pretty hammered from drinking and other substances. We started mashing in my car on the driver's seat. She was wearing a skirt and jumped right on top of my one-eyed friend. Crappy thing is that I put it in her butt instead. When I pulled out, crap fell all over my lap and I had to drive home with chit and stank smell in my car. It smelled so bad that I had to vomit, hands smelled like crap so I couldn't touch my mouth to stop the vomit- so I just threw up on my lap. Then I go back to my apt and all my friends were in the living room and I see that I had poo and throw up on my lap.

College Rocks!!

[/ QUOTE ]

WINNAR!!!! [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
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  #96  
Old 07-27-2007, 01:31 PM
hra146 hra146 is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Amsterdam, bitches
Posts: 4,041
Default Re: worst sexual experience you\'ve ever had

[ QUOTE ]
I dont know what the [censored] happened, but it pushed the skeet that was wanting to come out, right back in my balls. IT HURT.

[/ QUOTE ]

I believe you.
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  #97  
Old 07-27-2007, 01:54 PM
Repsychler Repsychler is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2007
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Default Re: worst sexual experience you\'ve ever had

Stay classy, 2p2!
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  #98  
Old 07-27-2007, 01:55 PM
CmnDwnWrkn CmnDwnWrkn is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 686
Default Re: worst sexual experience you\'ve ever had

I [censored] your sister. She was way too loose, like a cavern
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  #99  
Old 07-27-2007, 01:57 PM
Dan87 Dan87 is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 3,977
Default Re: worst sexual experience you\'ve ever had

[ QUOTE ]
Backstory: 10 years ago. Im 16, she is 15. Short thick type with a great as and huge [censored], while still being somewhat skinny with a flat tummy. She has slept with one person one time, so basically a virgin.

She comes over after school and says that her mom has to pick her up in 30 minutes. We quick go outside to smoke a bowl. When we come in, I suggest that it would be a great idea for me to get some head. Surprisingly, she agrees. She we sit down on the couch and she begins to do the lolipop deal, but not really getting down to business. I sort of coax her into putting it down her throat. She starts to do this and it felt nice.

Because she had limited experience with this type of thing, I think she got some [censored] mixed up. She took the phrase 'blow job' seriously. She blew my dick. Like a [censored] horn. I dont know what the [censored] happened, but it pushed the skeet that was wanting to come out, right back in my balls. IT HURT. As i was going to stop her, her mom honked the horn and she grabbed her stuff and had to go.

I had to beat it as soon as she left to bust a nut because it was so uncomfortable.

Edit: spelling

[/ QUOTE ]
i dont know why but this made me lol, its not even as devastating as the other stories just well written
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  #100  
Old 07-27-2007, 03:31 PM
React1oN React1oN is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Dreaming in the past.
Posts: 6,632
Default Re: worst sexual experience you\'ve ever had

[ QUOTE ]
I [censored] your sister. It was like throwing a hotdog down a hallway.

[/ QUOTE ]
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