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#31
07-08-2007, 11:32 PM
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Re: Open relationships
I am in one. My GF won't [censored] around, but she doesnt care if i do as long as she doesn't know about it. I guess this is how closed relationships work too, but she articulated it.
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#32
07-08-2007, 11:55 PM
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Re: Open relationships
I spent about a year with a girl when it was open, and then another half a year when it was closed. Oddly, during the breakup she cited reasons of me cheating on her, which while technically untrue, was probably emotionally true.
I think the whole open relationship thing is good while you're getting to know each other better and before significant emotions develop, but eventually it becomes difficult to reconcile the emotional discomfort that comes from thinking of your S.O. being desecrated in the most vile of ways by some dude who you almost certainly envision as a massive douche. I think the threshold for when this becomes to much to bear varies from person to person.
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#33
07-09-2007, 12:02 AM
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Re: Open relationships
Could you expand a little on this Misst? What is your agreement like? What are the parameters?
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#34
07-09-2007, 02:01 AM
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Re: Open relationships
[ QUOTE ]
Could you expand a little on this Misst? What is your agreement like? What are the parameters? [/ QUOTE ] I don't think I can expand any more than I have. We have an agreement, we're both OK with it, it works for us. I guess I should also point out that it's a long distance relationship, if that makes a difference. Well, OK, something I can expand on, we're totally "seeing" each other, but we're also able to see others, if either one of us so chooses too as long as we're not devious or secretive about it. T
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#35
07-09-2007, 02:05 AM
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Re: Open relationships
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] I'm female and I'm the one that suggested it, because it was either that or nothing at all. He actually readily agreed because he had been in one before and it worked out for him then so why wouldn't it now? He knows that I'm not the jealous type and he certainly isn't or we never would have lasted as long as we've had due to my flirtatious ways and the fact that I take part in a very male world with my playing poker. We don't go into details, but let each other know if and when something happens/will happen, etc etc, as a courtesty and out of respect. Will it end up costing us our relationship? That remains to be seen, but so far we're both happy and it's been working this way well for the past 6-8 months. T [/ QUOTE ] I think its got to be a unique situation though, and that the two of you definitely aren't like most...I mean, you basically said to him "let me hook up with other guys and I'll still hookup with you, otherwise, there's nothing between us". Doesn't sound like a fun spot for him to be in right? I suppose it also matters what you mean by 'relationship'. Are you two in love, but can hookup on the side? Is he as important as any other guy you might want something with? It just seems like it'd be easier to do if it wasn't anything serious, just hooking up, having fun, etc. I can't imagine this working out if there were any serious emotions involved, but thats speaking entirely from my point of view. Whatever the details, it sounds like you're happy, so congrats, thats hard to find. [/ QUOTE ] Well, it wasn't really put out like THAT: "let me hook up with others or else" it was put out like that I wasn't feeling too keen on being "tied down" to him so soon after my recent divorce, it just felt like I was getting into a serious relationship right after being in one and I didn't want that, but I didn't want to NOT be with him or not go out with him, but that didn't want it to be like a total marriage, he could see where I was coming from and agreed and we discussed that we would "slow" it down a little, see others IF we found someone we wanted to date, but still be committed to each other in a BF/GF sort of way... I know, it kind of sounds weird, possibly flaky, but it's working for us and that's all that counts. T
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#36
07-09-2007, 02:07 AM
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Re: Open relationships
he is a better man than i.
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#40
07-09-2007, 02:26 AM
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Re: Open relationships
[ QUOTE ]
So you don't date more than one girl at a time? A girl can't date more than one guy at a time? Are we really talking about "dating" or are we talking about "sex"? T [/ QUOTE ] sorry, OP stipulated a serious relationship, and I meant that to. I change it to: Id never ever enter into a serious relationship with anyone who would let me have an open relationship with her.
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