Female on Paxil, Things have changed - Page 5

siccjay · #41 02-28-2006, 04:00 AM

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Yes sexually and just in terms of being more than "just friends". Both were explicitly brought up.

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If you want her be a [censored] man and do something about it. You are the guy, things should be on YOUR terms. Not hers.

MathEconomist · #42 02-28-2006, 05:02 AM

Sounds to me like the following is occuring. She genuinely likes you as a friend, and you've been insistent about wanting a romantic relationship with her, but you're a bit of a wuss so she's not attracted to you (or maybe for some other reason). However, with her medication now, or just because, she feels guilty about the situation and is going to try to date you for a while because you want it so much, before deciding that it's not going to work because she's not attracted to you and ultimately dumping you setting you up for a worse situation than just being friends with her to begin with.

Obviously, I don't know that this is what's happening since I'm not there. But I've had female friends of mine talk about this numerous times (not with me as the guy in your position), and this is pretty much always the explanation for why they dated some friend of theirs for a while and then broke up, and what you're describing sounds exactly like the situations they described.

Just be a man and make a move, and you'll increase the chances that you spark a real attraction in her. If it doesn't work when you just try to make the move outright, it's never going to work and you can write her off as a romantic interest.

Magellan · #43 02-28-2006, 08:14 AM

To second the Clarkmeister, you're a wreck! You're getting way too neurotic about the whole thing. You're not a robot dude, she can't just tell you that there might be something more than friendship on the horizon (knowing full well how you feel) and expect you just to kick back while she ponders things. It's obvious you're trying to do the right thing by her (commendable) but it's affecting you to the point that it's time to sort out where you stand. "Love" and associated feelings aren't necessarily logical and she won't definitely be able to work out what she wants just by thinking about it. IT'S TIME TO PUT THE MOVES ON! The hard part is that your best chance of getting the response you want is by being relaxed and spontaneous about it. Don't sit there getting tense agonising over it and giving yourself countdowns. So, have a few beverages friday night, set a relaxed and light-hearted mood (joke around with her etc.), and before you're both too smashed plant one on her.

(If by chance she brings up the situation on the night before you make a move, say something like "let's not get into that tonight, we can thrash it out some other time".)

heater · #44 02-28-2006, 08:26 AM

First impression without reading anything other than the OP: She's hot as [censored], isn't she? You haven't been completely honest with her or yourself for as long as you've known her. Now you're buddies and it's not gonna happen.

Don't befriend chicks you want to [censored]. You'll be much better off.

Slow Play Ray · #45 02-28-2006, 08:58 AM

good god man, what are you doing to yourself?

hey, does this girl have a myspace page, by any chance...?

Gunny Highway · #46 02-28-2006, 11:03 AM

The gap between "friend" and "the guy I want to bang me until I stop breathing" is a tough one to cross. If you want to cross that gaping crevasse at some point, and you have the opportunity now, you'd better jump, Brother, because that opportunity is fleeting.

durron597 · #47 02-28-2006, 11:10 AM

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You hit the lottery and you're questioning ripping up the ticket? You'll always look back and wonder what if. And this is likely your one and only shot with her. Go for it.

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uh, yeah, listen to the clarkmeister.

Hopey · #48 02-28-2006, 02:07 PM

To the OP: You're driving yourself nuts trying to analyze everything to death, and all the analyzing in the world won't bring your situation to a conclusion. If anything, it will just prolong your agony.

Let me guess...you think about her all the time, you've lost your appetite, you're having trouble sleeping, you can't concentrate, and you feel a pit in your stomach. Trust me, it'll only get worse if you don't deal with the situation. You either need to give up on her (and you can even tell her you've given up, she might be the type that starts chasing *you* once you tell her you're not interested), or you need to make a move the next time you see her. You can't stay in friend zone, it's killing you.

zephedzephed · #49 02-28-2006, 09:39 PM

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Took your post as the general OOT attitude of SIIHP first, think about it later attitude.

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No, he was right.

zephedzephed · #50 02-28-2006, 10:05 PM

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I guess I oughta sack up and just try it. Unfortunately, 2nd semester thermo quiz weds, 2 exams before noon on thursday, and a gi-friggin-normous thermo assignment due on friday means that tonight was really my last chance till Friday. And there is a third party that could set me a step back in the progress that may have been made this evening, simply by reminding her that she already has the opportunity for whatever physical play she wants without the silly strings attached [though this has not been a factor for over 6 months, he has recently re-established contact with her, and she is not being entirely open about what exactly is going to go on with this. so far, nothing has happened.].

Just gotta hope they don't make any plans between now and friday night, i guess.

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Skip studying and show up at her door immediately. Be bold. Do whatever it takes to get in her pants. You need to give her a real good time. You need to let her know that you cannot continue this friendship with her. It's either be with you or nice knowing ya.

You have an unhealthy friendship with this girl that will probably kill you inside for a long time if you don't make a move. This 3rd guy is a real problem that needs to be taken care of immediately. You can't wait until friday.