Your Worst/Best Strip Club Experience

[danielg]

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I think I've posted this in another thread, but don't feel like searching.

I was at a strip club once, and was offered a lap dance. At this club, the dancer gets $20, and the club takes a $2 fee as you're leaving the backroom. So this girl offers me a dance and I tell her that I only have a single $20 bill, so I'll get a dance if she pays my fee to the club. She would rather have $18 than nothing, so she agrees. Afterward, I'm walking out of the backroom with her, and realize I left my cell phone. I went and got it, and found that she was gone when I got back. This 6'10" bouncer wants his money, and I start trying to explain our arrangement. He doesn't want to hear it, and was probably excited at the opportunity to bounce somebody. He put me in a choke hold and threw me out the side door. I did manage to get the Ron White line, "Do you jerk off when you watch Roadhouse," out as I was being hurled out the door.


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Who go's to a strip club with only a single $20 on them, you are a loser.

Dan

[tshort]

Cliff Notes at the Bottom

I have had some awesome strip club experiences at some famous strip clubs including Ricks in New Orleans, Scores in NYC, and of course the Spearmint Rhino.

I might post a story about a fraternity buddy and I going home with a stripper in New Orleans some other time, but a few of my best strip club experiences happened at place called The Outhouse: BYOB Juice Bar. troy, I think you made a mistake when you left this place.



As troymclur said, this seems to be a difficult place to find. In reality, you take 15th St. East from Lawrence, KS and you'll run into it once you start to really feel like you are in Kansas (gravel roads, no signs of life, no hills).

The first time I went to the Outhouse was a Monday night for a fraternity brother's 20th birthday. About a dozen of us loaded up some coolers with cases of Natty and handles of assorted liquor. A couple of guys tried to use the same IDs to get in and the bouncer who looked like a homeless Howard Stern (maybe the same guy troy?) sends them home and makes everyone come back to re-check our IDs. His test method is to make us sign a piece of paper and then check it against our IDs. Photoshop + stolen holograms from the DMV + laminator meant they were our own signatures on fake IDs.

Now the girls (maybe a half-dozen on that Monday) are definitely a far cry from the Spearmint Rhino, but troy must have been there on quite the off night. The girls were all at least 3.5s with a 7.5 here and there. Yes, a few might be a little hideous, but it's quite the tolerable mix.

It takes about ten singles and a few twenties in addition to the $15 cover to have an awesome time at the Outhouse. You take a $1, put it in your mouth and go lay down on the stage. The stripper comes over and straddles her pussy about an inch from your face before she removes the dollar with her fake or saggy titties. You then use your twenties for fully nude hands on lap dances.

On special occasions, you pool together $100 for the special care package for a buddy. This is a multiple song ordeal involving a few strippers (or on Monday night all of them). The birthday boy sits in a chair on stage in front of the pole. He receives dances from multiple girls at a time until they decide he is a bad boy. That is when they will climb up the poll and do a free fall drop on to his crotch. Then they remove his belt and beat him across the chest after unbuttoning his shirt. The best part is when three strippers grab onto his boxers and give him a wedgie from all directions until it rips off. After 3-4 songs, the care packages is over and resume slamming cheap beers.

The best part of that night was when we learned a friend of ours had [censored] one of these girls who was about a 4.5 before she dropped out of school and became a stripper.

I have had many entertaining nights at the Outhouse.

CLIFF NOTES

Outhouse = BYOB, Fully Nude, Hands On adult entertainment with raunchy women


[EDIT] troy, Boulder, lite?!!? Lawrence is an awesome town in many ways. I hope you are just saying Lawrence does have some weird hippies.

[youtalkfunny]

A co-worker talks me into accompanying him to The Palamino in North Las Vegas. He dukes the doorman, and we get ringside seats. I'm young and broke, so I don't expect much. My friend lays about twenty singles, side by side, on the little shelf below the lip of the stage that is holding our drinks. When a girl that he thinks is particularly hot comes onstage, he waves the money.

A smoking hot girl walks onto the stage. My friend eschews the singles, and fishes a fiver out of his wallet. The stripper makes a beeline for it. As she takes his $5, she says, "Hi, sweetie, what's your name?"

My friend replies, "I didn't come here to talk to you. Turn around and let me see your ass."

Furious, the girl throws the fin back at him. I see guys get out of line with strippers all the time, but I never saw one get so mad as to throw the money back.

A little later, the emcee comes onstage to tell us that the amateur portion of the show is over, and now it's time to bring out the pros. He introduces the first girl. She wheels a bed out onto the stage. After she gets her clothes off, she lays down on the bed, and starts to simulate masturbation, really thrusting her hips to the music.

My friend thinks the masturbation act is real, and the girl on the bed thrusting her hips into the air faster and faster has him completely out of his mind. He scoops up all his singles, throws them onto the stage so that they rain down upon her, and shouts, "God damn it, TAKE IT ALL!"

[MrBlue]

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You take a $1, put it in your mouth and go lay down on the stage. The stripper comes over and straddles her pussy about an inch from your face before she removes the dollar with her fake or saggy titties.


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You use to be able to get the same at Sundowners on Lundy Lane @ Niagra Falls except instead of saggy/fake titties, you get pretty hot canadian chicks. Haven't been there in years so I don't know if the pricing is still the same.

[GotRivered?]

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[ QUOTE ]

You take a $1, put it in your mouth and go lay down on the stage. The stripper comes over and straddles her pussy about an inch from your face before she removes the dollar with her fake or saggy titties.


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You use to be able to get the same at Sundowners on Lundy Lane @ Niagra Falls except instead of saggy/fake titties, you get pretty hot canadian chicks. Haven't been there in years so I don't know if the pricing is still the same.

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yep same thing.. I was there 2 months ago... God i love sundowners

[MrBlue]

My best strip club experience was at this little hole in the wall in the middle of no where Costa Rica called D’Palufos.

I'm just going to do a straight cut and paste from my logs. It's roughly 450 colones to 1 dollar.



We then head out for Tango India (closed), Pantera Rose (closed), then back to SL where Ray introduces to J. He has tons of good info and we head out to D’Palufos with his friend D around 9:30pm. We get there and show hasn’t started yet so we sit down at the very very front right by the stage. Cost 4,000 colones to get in that includes 2 drink tickets and a raffle, plus 2,000 more for priviledge to sit by the stage. More drink tickets came with the 2k.

Right off the bat, it was already better than Kamur. Pretty chicas and all could dance. I wouldn’t say they are 9s or 10s but at around 7s and maybe 8 depends on your type. It was pretty fun then the raffle came. I WON the raffle!!! I didn’t understand what I won but I went up next to the stage and this chica which I consider 8 or at least high 7s. Tight tight body, average [censored], dimples, and pretty good package overall.

She lies on the stage and the dude introducing chicas sprinkles salt on her belly all the way up to her [censored], puts a lemon on her right tit and hands me a shot of tequila. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]. 3,2,1 I hit the shot and lick every bit of salt off her and suck on her [censored] and the lemon. OH MAN that was [censored] awesome doing it on the stage. I buy J a drink for bringing us.

Then the pussy dance happens. All the girls get on stage in catholic girl customes. For 1,000 colones, you get a lap dance. A pretty good one. We both pass for some reason although it is a [censored] good deal. It’s 6,600 colones for private dances per song in the back room. We both pass as well but I suspect full service in the back areas.

Then the lesbian show starts. We get front and center up and close view of the lesbian show. All real, none of that fake crap in the states. It was pretty good but shows just don’t do it for me anymore. We stay for a bit after J takes off (I’m sure he nutted in the private room with the big titted chica.) before we take off.

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The strip club with the best looking girls was probably downtown Montreal @ Downtown Danse but FS not available [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img].

I like the occasional strip club, but nothing really beats termas in Rio.

[Wubbie075]

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anyway, my friend got invited up on stage while some girl was dancing, so he went up and the girl made him get on his hands and knees. so he obliged and the girl was doing her thing, dancing and grinding on him, all while he is on his hands and knees. so all of a sudden she grabs his underwear and starts giving him one hell of a wedgie. he rises, trying to grab at his underwear but she yanks it super hard and the entire elastic loop of his undies rips off and the toothless stripper is standing there laughing with underwear elastic in her hands. he did not tip her and she did not pay for his underwear

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OMG this happened to one of my friends too... but we paid the stripper to do it to him lol.. and it was in IN, not MO... it was pretty frikkin hilarious

my worst experience was some little place in downtown manhattan... we had some time to kill before a party and decided to go in for a few minutes... they had a 2 drink minimum so I had my 2 drinks... but I didn't feel like havin any more $7 budweisers so I stopped ordering drinks... after about 5 minutes someone comes up to me and says if I wanna stay I have to buy more drinks.. and I told him I had the 2 drink minimum... so the moron says "yeah it is a 2 drink minimum, but that doesn't mean u can stop at 2 if u are gonna stay" so I'm like "WTF do you have any clue what 2 drink minimum means??" we go back and forth a bit and I ask to speak to the manager... who of course backs his employee.. before I know it the bouncer is there and one of my friends with a severe case of beer muscles starts yappin at the bouncer... we take on the bouncer.. we lose... lol

was just a buncha skanks inside too

[BukNaked36]

Worst
East Dubuque Illinois - Land of Mint & Honey
The stripped looked to be at least 45. She had bruises and was limping badly. She just kind of limped around in a circle on the stage as a dance.

Best
The Booby Trap - Ft. Lauderdale
Relatively good looking women. Couple of buddies got BJ's there. One guy literally had a 3some in the back room with a couple of the girls. Pretty wild stuff.

[KMac4]

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[ QUOTE ]
anyway, my friend got invited up on stage while some girl was dancing, so he went up and the girl made him get on his hands and knees. so he obliged and the girl was doing her thing, dancing and grinding on him, all while he is on his hands and knees. so all of a sudden she grabs his underwear and starts giving him one hell of a wedgie. he rises, trying to grab at his underwear but she yanks it super hard and the entire elastic loop of his undies rips off and the toothless stripper is standing there laughing with underwear elastic in her hands. he did not tip her and she did not pay for his underwear

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OMG this happened to one of my friends too... but we paid the stripper to do it to him lol.. and it was in IN, not MO... it was pretty frikkin hilarious

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Was this at Hip Hugger? I've been there twice and have seen it done both times there... once one of my buddies was the one getting his boxers ripped by a stripper.

[Quanah Parker]

I had a good looking stripper with a healthy chest give me a great lap dance, grinding, sliding, happy hands, etc.

She finisded the dance by squirting breast milk onto my face to my surprise.