Stupidest girlfriend/fiance/wife arguments?

[neuroman]

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me and my girlfriend were enjoying dinner. our waitress checks me out when she takes our order.. my girlfriend sing songs 'someone thinks you're cute' good naturedly. i say, 'everyone thinks i'm cute'. my girlfriend gives me an exagerated eye roll. we make small talk. the waitress comes back with our food. i smile at her. twenty minutes later, after an argument featuring clenched teeth and angry gesturing with a knife, my girlfriend tells me i'm the most conceited piece of [censored] on the planet and disappears into the night.

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this one is my favorite so far for being succinct, bizarro, and funny. I wish I had a story of hilarious verbal abuse to share.

[prohornblower]

Of course. Countless times.

A couple months ago her and I got in an argument in front of my brother and sister about our apartment rent. Our rent was $747 at the time, and she claimed that the same unit on the first floor (ours is 2nd floor) was over $1000 per month.

I laughed because I thought she was joking. She wasn't. I told her I knew for a fact that it was $767/mo. I'd seen the paper and I memorized the number, which isn't uncommon for me and she knows it.

Nope. She didn't care. She swore the first level cost 33% more b/c of the "convenience" of being on the first floor. Even my little brother and sister were laughing at this point.

She was pissed, and I was trying to logically explain it to her (why bother?), about supply/demand and that nobody in their right mind would pay over $200 extra per month for the "luxury" of having no privacy on the porch, and headlights in their windows.

She told me I was "f***ing retarded" (not uncommon) in front of my siblings. At that point I got mad and told her to apologize to my bro/sis for talking like that in front of them. She wouldn't.

The next day I brought the rent schedule in from the office. Yep, I was right. I showed her and she said "Oh. Well I thought it was more." I'm looking at her smiling waiting for my apology.

Women don't apologize. Especially only-childs. She just said "well I THOUGHT it was more." and walked away. As she walked away I told her to call my bro/sis and apologize and tell them she was wrong. I don't think we had sex that night.

This is just one story. We've been dating for 7 years and lived together (officially) this past year.

[Autocratic]

So I took my now ex to San Francisco after freshman year in college (I am a junior now). Being a relatively poor student, this was no small thing, but I worked for Marriott and could get a nice hotel discount. I said I'd pay, and she was all "OMG no I'll cover my half." This went back and forth, and I got the sense she didn't want to be a mooching girlfriend, so I eventually said "fine, if you want you can pay for meals." I figured we'd be hitting up some nice places, so this was no small amount of money. In my head I still assumed I'd end up covering some of that as well.

During the trip we were getting along fine, and I ended up covering half of all the restaurant bills, basically as planned. At the time I assume this is what she wants, and the trip ends.

About two months later, in the midst of another argument (basically one about restaurant bills - I'm in the class that says after 2 years of dating splitting the occasional bill should not be unacceptable), she blows up about how she had to pay for her meals in San Fran. I almost shot myself in the face.

[holyfield5]

you just gotta decide if the psycho girls are worth "it".

had one girl refuse to let me go to work because she was pissed and wanted to argue, she physically blocked the door to my room, so after 15 minutes i finally faked her out somehow and darted out my room, she comes charging after me and as im opening the front door she lowers her shoulder to stop me from slipping out and i just hold it and she flung her body into it and bounced off, so i walk out then she starts threatening that she has a bruise and was gonna call the cops and tell them i hit her......last time i messed with a psycho girl.

[Guy Incognito]

Sometimes I feel dejected about not having a girlfriend in the last 3 years.

Thanks for making me feel better.

[liquidboss]

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So I took my now ex to San Francisco after freshman year in college (I am a junior now). Being a relatively poor student, this was no small thing, but I worked for Marriott and could get a nice hotel discount. I said I'd pay, and she was all "OMG no I'll cover my half." This went back and forth, and I got the sense she didn't want to be a mooching girlfriend, so I eventually said "fine, if you want you can pay for meals." I figured we'd be hitting up some nice places, so this was no small amount of money. In my head I still assumed I'd end up covering some of that as well.

During the trip we were getting along fine, and I ended up covering half of all the restaurant bills, basically as planned. At the time I assume this is what she wants, and the trip ends.

About two months later, in the midst of another argument (basically one about restaurant bills - I'm in the class that says after 2 years of dating splitting the occasional bill should not be unacceptable), she blows up about how she had to pay for her meals in San Fran. I almost shot myself in the face.

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haha, I like this one too. She thinks after 2 years of dating that you should pay for meals? What a crazy...

[Rapidtransit]

This isn't so much an argument so much as a story about how psycho an ex of mine was. I was sitting around with her and a few of our mutual friends and one of them poured a glass of coke. Now this girl has an absolutely horrible distaste for soda. Anyway my friend asks if anyone wants a glass and I say sure. To this my girl friend says, no, he's all set. I say no, I'll take the glass and drink it. Later on in the night I'm walking her home (this was in college) and she looks at me and says why the hell did you drink that soda? I say why are you mad at me? I should be pissed at you. To which she goes, why should you be mad at me, I told you not to. Needless to say, things ended quickly after this. Girls are insane.

[Forbin]

She obviously wasn't going to go out to the car while still wearing the towel, so she might as well get dressed and go get the keys herself. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to resist pointing this out if the same situation happened to me, but that would've just made things worse.

Argh. Women.

[DCopper04]

She once asked me if I wanted to start going to church with her every Sunday. Being a pretty worldly, unreligious kind of guy, I respectfully declined. She becomes kind of offended, and starts saying all of this crap like if I really cared about her I'd go with her, which really set me off cause I hate it when people use that kind of angle. We get into an argument, and she flatly tells me "well if anyone is giving in, it's you, because I'm not going to." I respond with something like "the more you persist, the better it feels to not go to church with you." She ultimately dropped it, and I never went to church with her. I felt like a man.

[THAY3R]

I really wish I was gay.

That is all.