Stale observations people still think are funny/original/surprising

[Jasper109]

Watch 3 innings of Tim McCarver or Joe Morgan doing a ball game, and you will have enough material to keep this thread going for a year.

[RacersEdge]

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Watch 3 innings of Tim McCarver or Joe Morgan doing a ball game, and you will have enough material to keep this thread going for a year.

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Yes, or any player interview in any sport.

[onthebutton]

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"The pharmaceutical industry is nothing but a bunch of money-grubbing parasites that are ruining the medical system of this country. They overcharge for everything and are making massive profits on everything they sell!"

Untrue and completely stale. Doesn't prevent it from being repeated ad nauseum though.

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No hijack intended, let's start a new thread:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/s...toryId=6298643

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Not interested in a new thread, and the article you linked has pretty much nothing to do with what I posted.

[traz]

For any students who skip class like me:

"You're not going to know what she's teaching if you keep skipping class".

STFU STUPID KEENER STUDENT

[traz]

Also, I'm a really short guy, and whenever I have a coffee in my hands..."you know caffeine stunts your growth"

ugh.

[Tron]

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when people make observations about you that you can't possibly not know about.

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My last name is "Hope", and I used to work in sales. On almost a daily basis after I'd handed an idiot customer my business card (and he'd read my name), the customer would tell me "Well, I guess you HOPE that you'll get the sale! <insert moronic laughter here>"

Of course, I always *was* hoping that I'd get the sale, so I'd resist punching these types in the face.

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My last name is Bond. "You know James?"

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You should legally be allowed to kill such people. I used to get "Any relation to Bob?" when Bob Hope was still alive.

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Yeah, he should get a License to Kill! Do you get it? Huh? Do ya? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

[jokerthief]

What I have grown to hate:

Phase 1: XYZ
Phase 2: ???
Phase 3: Profit

Oh wow, that was so clever. No one has ever done that joke before. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[Flow73]

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My last name is "Hope", and I used to work in sales. On almost a daily basis after I'd handed an idiot customer my business card (and he'd read my name), the customer would tell me "Well, I guess you HOPE that you'll get the sale! <insert moronic laughter here>"

Of course, I always *was* hoping that I'd get the sale, so I'd resist punching these types in the face.

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My first name is Darrell, once anyone over 40 finds out the first thing out of their mouth is "where is your other brother Darrell?" I lose my mind everytime I hear it, espcially since no one relavent has even seen the show.

[[censored]]

All,

here is one that's pissed me off since childhood

person "what's your favorite color"
me "black"
person "black is not a color, it's the absence blah blah about black not being a color...."
me {holding back throat punch}

[SNOWBALL]

-ADD is overprescribed
-Lawyers are scummy
-Communism works in theory, but not in practice
-The grass is always greener on the other side of the hill