the most inappropriate thing you've ever said/heard - Page 10

Jimihat316 · #91 09-20-2006, 11:29 PM

I was playing mini-golf and having a cigarette at the same time. A kid, about 8 years old, comes up to me, and says "Why are you smoking, don't you know it's bad for you?" My reply was, "Because it's cool, all the cool kids are doing it."

valenzuela · #92 09-20-2006, 11:46 PM

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I was at a cricket game and

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....i quit reading your post

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lol, I did the same exact thing.

SoHotRightNow · #93 09-20-2006, 11:56 PM

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I was at a cricket game and

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....i quit reading your post

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lol, I did the same exact thing.

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Well, cricket had nothing to do with it, it was just the setting. But if you want to make it somewhere that you would find more interesting or be more comfortable at, just pretend it starts with "I was at an ass munching festival and"...

SoHotRightNow · #94 09-20-2006, 11:56 PM

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I was at a cricket game and sitting on a grass bank which is pretty packed. I'm pretty smashed, kind of lying down/leaning back, and in my peripheral vision I see that the guy sitting to the right of me has one leg shaved, and one leg unshaved. So I turn to a friend and quietly say, "Hey look at that guy, he's got one leg shaved and not the other". My friend tells me to STFU, but curious, I turn and ask the guy why he has chosen to shave only one of his legs. At this point [this should be pretty obvious] I realise that his "shaven" leg is actually prosthetic... Luckily, he realised that I was a drunken idiot rather than a sober douchebag, so he laughed it off rather than taking his leg off and beating me to death with it.

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jeez man, how could u not realize this...??

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I dont know, and it haunts me to this day. I have very good eyesight too...

GiftGiver · #95 09-21-2006, 12:04 AM

This summer I was in Walmart around noon and was drunk off my ass. I thought it would be funny to put on this bright orange cloth hunting mask with holes cut out for the eyes and mouth. As I am wearing the mask a ~60 year old lady says "Nice mask." I reply "Nice rump." Somehow I thought if I used the word rump it would not be offensive.

NeedsMoreNuts · #96 09-21-2006, 12:06 AM

Just recently at the slave trade exhibit at the Field Museum in Chicago with my brother and grandfather. There's a poster from a slave auction like 200 years ago, and all of the listings are like "15 y.o. negro boy...8 y.o. negro girl...etc." One of them, however, says something like "20 y.o. gizzy man." Neither me or my brother could figure out what a "gizzy" was, so we turned to my grandfather and ask him. He looks at the poster, shrugs, and says very loudly, "Eh, they're all spades to me!"

Tony_P · #97 09-21-2006, 12:23 AM

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this happened in a friends health class in high school (taught by a priest, by the way). he is discussing semen, and how it is mostly protien. a girl in the class then asks "well, then why does it taste so salty?"

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I'm sure it did.

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you are dumb.

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O RLY?

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jokes fly over your head much?

krazyace5 · #98 09-21-2006, 12:30 AM

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After the movie "Ray" came out, my aunt was talking about it over a family dinner. She started detailing how his little brother had drowned when he was just a little kid.

I come out with this gem: "I bet he didn't see that coming!"

Jaws dropped.

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I just laughed really loudly at this... does that make me a bad person?

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Not really , especially since Ray still had his vision at the time.

lgas · #99 09-21-2006, 12:34 AM

This thread reminded me of two specific occasions:

1. In high school a bunch of people are standing around talking in a circle and I walk up and join in. One of the people was this really hot girl that I had seen from afar but never talked to before. Well, almost immediately after I walk up she says something like "I..I...I... w-w-w-w-ouldn't mind getting some pizza" and my kneejerk response is "M-m-m-m-e n-n-n-n-either." Everyone looked at me like I had grown a third head. It was around that time that I realized that she actually had a real stuttering problem. I assumed at the time that she had just happened to stutter on that one sentence for some reason.

2. Three co-workers and I were playing NFL blitz (we had the stand-up arcade version at one of my old jobs) and one of them, after messing up a play, says "I don't know what's wrong with me today, I just can't concentrate" and before I could censor myself, I responded "Well, maybe you need to go to concentration camp". One of the co-workers was Jewish. Fortunately, after a brief pause, *all* of them laughed their asses off.

sightless · #**100** 09-21-2006, 12:40 AM

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2. Three co-workers and I were playing NFL blitz (we had the stand-up arcade version at one of my old jobs) and one of them, after messing up a play, says "I don't know what's wrong with me today, I just can't concentrate" and before I could censor myself, I responded "Well, maybe you need to go to concentration camp". One of the co-workers was Jewish. Fortunately, after a brief pause, *all* of them laughed their asses off.

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I swear to god, I read the same exact story on OOT in the not so distant past.