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#241
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sometimes i smell my grundle sweat. [/ QUOTE ] I'll take things i didn't want to know about my roomate for 1000 please alex. |
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#242
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[ QUOTE ] Reminds me -- I don't own a pair of jeans. Haven't worn them since middle school. Never liked them. I think this is pretty weird since everyone I know has like 6 pairs. [/ QUOTE ] I've never liked jeans because the rough fabric chafed when I wore them back in elementary school. So I don't own a pair of jeans. I only wear khakis or dress pants. I've been meaning to give jeans another go though, but I guess that's a story for another thread. [/ QUOTE ] I wore jeans literally every day from like 7th-10th grade but now I own 2 pairs and hardly ever wear them. |
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#243
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I keep tempting myself to do things that don't make any sense at all. Like, say I'm walking down the street and I pass a store with a big window, I'm tempted to just throw myself through the window. I'm not crazy though here's my reasoning:
I often think maybe the whole world as I know it is basically a trivial creation of some one elses. 'the matrix' would be an example of this. Like, maybe one day I will 'snap out of it', and wake up on a spaceship and realize this life was pretty much just a dream purposely created for entertainment value, since I have too much time to kill during my space travel. Or, I am hooked into this false reality for my whole life, just so other people can watch my life through my own eyes for entertainment. It would make sense for the creator of this false world to not bother creating the whole Earth, but like, just things within 100km of me. So when I move cities, the old city no longer exists, however it pops back into existence when I go back to it. Also, it would make sense for the creators to not bother having things in existence that I won't use. Like, if they know I'll be in the same room for the next hour, then just outside that room will be nothing, or like, something that's not supposed to be there So in an effort to thwart the creator(s), I can try to catch them offguard by doing something nonsensical that they haven't accounted for. I imagine that say I jump into the window, and at the moment of impact reality get's all 'glitchy', and I snap out of it, or at least confirm my suspicions. I sometimes imagine certain scenarios, like when I snap out of it and I'm in the 'real reality', my real memory floods back to me, and I realize this whole life was basically a Playstation 17 game, and I won a bet from my friends. The bet started out: me: "so you're telling me, that if I was born into a world with people smart enough to create a complex civilation but yet still wander aimlessly through life seemingly not caring at all that they have no idea if there is a god (or have retarded beliefs about god), or what the meaning of life is, they just keep 9 to 5'in it like happy mindless drones, I would not suspect that something is up?" friend: "absolutely dude, you would just go along with it, do what everyone else does" me: "fack you I wouldn't, I would be smart enough to realize people could not possibly be that oblivious. Wanna put some money on it?? 50 space credits??" friend: "It's on. Let's hook you up" So occaisionally I do stuff like, after taking a piss in the bathroom and walking towards the kitchen, I will stop like halfway, turn around, walk into the bathroom and turn the light on and take a quick look around for anything suspicious. Or I might be in the middle of a routine, like walking along the street on the way to something, but then walk somewhere I've never been to before and have no need to go to. Another weird thing I do is when I walk around a crowded area, I like to do my best to casually 'flow' around other people walking like I'm Barry Sanders. The key is to do it like you are cool as ice, you need to make it look easy and fluid and inconspicuous. It feels great when there's an ass who's like in a rush to get some where so he rudely nudges through and cuts people off everywhere as he walks, yet I manage to move faster than him while seemingly exerting no effort. You can't force it though, obv |
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#244
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Often, when walking, I realize that I've been clutching my hand and holding it near the center of my chest the whole time. Kind of like the Bob Dole thing, but with no pen. I'm not sure which hand it is, but it's always the same one. The other one never does it.
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#245
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[ QUOTE ]
I keep tempting myself to do things that don't make any sense at all. Like, say I'm walking down the street and I pass a store with a big window, I'm tempted to just throw myself through the window. I'm not crazy though here's my reasoning: I often think maybe the whole world as I know it is basically a trivial creation of some one elses. 'the matrix' would be an example of this. Like, maybe one day I will 'snap out of it', and wake up on a spaceship and realize this life was pretty much just a dream purposely created for entertainment value, since I have too much time to kill during my space travel. Or, I am hooked into this false reality for my whole life, just so other people can watch my life through my own eyes for entertainment. It would make sense for the creator of this false world to not bother creating the whole Earth, but like, just things within 100km of me. So when I move cities, the old city no longer exists, however it pops back into existence when I go back to it. Also, it would make sense for the creators to not bother having things in existence that I won't use. Like, if they know I'll be in the same room for the next hour, then just outside that room will be nothing, or like, something that's not supposed to be there So in an effort to thwart the creator(s), I can try to catch them offguard by doing something nonsensical that they haven't accounted for. I imagine that say I jump into the window, and at the moment of impact reality get's all 'glitchy', and I snap out of it, or at least confirm my suspicions. I sometimes imagine certain scenarios, like when I snap out of it and I'm in the 'real reality', my real memory floods back to me, and I realize this whole life was basically a Playstation 17 game, and I won a bet from my friends. The bet started out: me: "so you're telling me, that if I was born into a world with people smart enough to create a complex civilation but yet still wander aimlessly through life seemingly not caring at all that they have no idea if there is a god (or have retarded beliefs about god), or what the meaning of life is, they just keep 9 to 5'in it like happy mindless drones, I would not suspect that something is up?" friend: "absolutely dude, you would just go along with it, do what everyone else does" me: "fack you I wouldn't, I would be smart enough to realize people could not possibly be that oblivious. Wanna put some money on it?? 50 space credits??" friend: "It's on. Let's hook you up" So occaisionally I do stuff like, after taking a piss in the bathroom and walking towards the kitchen, I will stop like halfway, turn around, walk into the bathroom and turn the light on and take a quick look around for anything suspicious. Or I might be in the middle of a routine, like walking along the street on the way to something, but then walk somewhere I've never been to before and have no need to go to. Another weird thing I do is when I walk around a crowded area, I like to do my best to casually 'flow' around other people walking like I'm Barry Sanders. The key is to do it like you are cool as ice, you need to make it look easy and fluid and inconspicuous. It feels great when there's an ass who's like in a rush to get some where so he rudely nudges through and cuts people off everywhere as he walks, yet I manage to move faster than him while seemingly exerting no effort. You can't force it though, obv [/ QUOTE ] Weird, this is the first thing in the thread I really relate to. I remember having this idea way early in life, and when "The Truman Show" came out, I went, EXACTLY! I've met a few people in my life, my father included, who have mentioned similar ideas to me, and I've never interpreted it as a sort of shared psychosis. Always a part of my brain is thinking, this is a clue from the outside, they are hinting the truth at me, I should act on it. Once, after a really bad high, I confronted a friend about it. "If this is all a game, I know it is, so you have to stop it now, it's over, I know what's up, I win." She was very confused. So I think I'm not living in some artificial construct, perhaps. But sometimes.... |
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#246
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I talk to myself.
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#247
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- I type many long posts (on this site and others) that never make it to the thread. Ill just type the whole thing out, check for mistakes, and then delete it without ever posting it. I have no idea why. [/ QUOTE ] Me too. Maybe I find the actual writing therapeutic, but don't feel a need to post it? I'm stretching here. Other weird things...sometimes I'll go to the bathroom knowing that I don't have to pee or take a dump. I just go in there and sit on the toilet for a few minutes to relax. I usually do this at work, but sometimes at my house with nobody around. My gf cuts all her food into little bites before eating any of it. She's the only person I've ever see do that. I used to be a little paranoid about checking my mail or coming home when my neighbors were outside...but not any more. ScottieK |
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#248
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I've done a lot of things in this thread. The main one though, is that I can't listen to my own voice. When I'm just speaking it sounds fine, but listening to a recording drives me crazy, and I just can't bring myself to listen.
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#249
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[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] - I type many long posts (on this site and others) that never make it to the thread. Ill just type the whole thing out, check for mistakes, and then delete it without ever posting it. I have no idea why. [/ QUOTE ] Me too. Maybe I find the actual writing therapeutic, but don't feel a need to post it? I'm stretching here. [/ QUOTE ] I should do this more often. Specifically I should do this in BBV. I actually feel kinda proud when I type up a post and then have the foresight to realize "[censored], this is RETARDED, I should not post this". |
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#250
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[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] - I type many long posts (on this site and others) that never make it to the thread. Ill just type the whole thing out, check for mistakes, and then delete it without ever posting it. I have no idea why. [/ QUOTE ] Me too. Maybe I find the actual writing therapeutic, but don't feel a need to post it? I'm stretching here. [/ QUOTE ] I should do this more often. Specifically I should do this in BBV. I actually feel kinda proud when I type up a post and then have the foresight to realize "[censored], this is RETARDED, I should not post this". [/ QUOTE ] I used to do this a lot more when I had like <200 posts. after that I decided life is too short to not post. |
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