Ask BOTW what it is like to be a stalker...

[El Diablo]

B,

Was there a specific episode that caused you to want to go beat the dude w/ a softball bat?

[BOTW]

El D, I went to his place the first night I found out they were going on a date. I only wanted to confront them with my knowledge, like somehow me letting them know I knew would justify me and the way I felt. At the time I believed I just wanted to talk to him, but I realize now I likely would have been violent.

I knew him casually prior to them going out. Whether it was paranoia or perception, I suspected he liked her. When I discovered they were together, I felt as though he had betrayed me and it vindicated my prior thoughts. I saw things in very black and white terms and at a very primitive level. I thought, "I was right about him and should have done something before to stop him." My thoughts devolved into me wanting to hurt him. I felt that if I busted his knee he would no longer be a "real man" and she'd have to come back.

After not being able to contact her for a few days or so, I got angry and decided to take action. His neighbor saw me and I was unable to convince the neighbor I was a friend. I guess friends don't sneak around in the bushes with a bat.

Later, I heard that they were getting serious. "How could this be? I could be the man of her dreams if only she'd give me another chance. She just doesn't see it because he's in the way. I need to get him out of the way."

The main catalyst was anger.

[kyleb]

You have saved your own thread. This is a good (albeit strange) read.

[Check_The_Nuts]

Why post this now? Any specific reason?

[El Diablo]

BOTW,

How long ago was this?
How old are you now?
Do you have a girlfriend?
Have you had girlfriends since her, if so, how many?
Do you still want to be with this girl?
When is the last time you saw her?

[BOTW]

CTN, One of my friends told the puppy story last night. Although he is funny when he tells it, I found myself feeling more defensive than usual. It is theraputic for me to say these things.

How long ago was this? When is the last time you saw her? about 14 years. I basically cut out our mutual friends shortly after.

How old are you now? 37

Do you have a girlfriend? I recently started dating someone new.

Have you had girlfriends since her, if so, how many? yes, three (that were not one night, includes the new one) Never stalked them, but never got really close to them either.

Do you still want to be with this girl? on some level, yes. One of the most difficult things for me is admitting I have this obsession and an obsessive personality. It was really hard for me to say, "This is wrong and I need help." Counselling and behavior thearapy has helped me a lot, but I still have issues that I am working on.

[El Diablo]

BOTW,

Based on threads/posts you've read, which guys on here do you think really might be stalkers?