favorite Seinfeld line

[edtost]

Mr. Steinbrenner: (the back of his head to the camera) John Tyler? George Steinbreener here. I want to talk about George Castanza. I understand he's been dividing his time between us and you. I cannot have that.

John Tyler: (the back of his head also to the camera) Well I don't know who he is but if you want him that bad I'm not giving him up that easily.

Mr. Steinbrenner: Oh is that so. Playing a little hardball huh Jonnyboy?

John Tyler: How about this. You give me Castanza, I convert your concessions to all chicken no charge. Instead of hot dogs, chicken dogs. Instead of pretzels, chicken twists. Instead of beer, alcoholic chicken.

Mr. Steinbrenner: How do you make that alcoholic chicken?

John Tyler: Let if ferment, just like everything else.

Mr. Steinbrenner: That stuff sounds great. All right. I'll have Costanza on the next bus.

[Triumph36]

[ QUOTE ]
When Kramer is in his shower trying to install a garbage disposal and he calls Puddy for help.

Puddy tells him to use the auxillary line and Kramer says the manual says main line.

Puddy: "That's a misprint."

I have a dry sense of humor.

[/ QUOTE ]

'What've you got there, a Clarkman?'

It's jokes like this one and the one I referenced that make Seinfeld such a great show.

[Jules22]

a lot of my favorites have already been posted so heres my favorite exchange from my favorite episode the bizzaro jerry
JERRY

So he's Bizarro Jerry!

ELAINE

[pause] Bizarro Jerry?

JERRY

Yeah. Like Bizarro Superman. Superman's exact opposite, who lives in the backwards bizarro world. Up is Down. Down is

Up. He says "Hello" when he leaves, "Good bye" when he arrives.

ELAINE

[pause] Shouldn't he say "Bad bye"? Isn't that the, opposite of "Good bye"?

JERRY

No. It's still a goodbye.

ELAINE

Uh. Does he live underwater?

JERRY

No.

ELAINE

Is he black..

[mother_brain]

Awesome, i just read the whole thread and didn't see my favorite one

George: "You can't have a relationship where one person says 'I love you' and the other person says 'I'm hungry'"

Jerry: "Unless you're married."

[The DaveR]

[ QUOTE ]
And you want to be MY Latex salesman?


[/ QUOTE ]

Winner.

[Vagos]

Allison: I don't want to live! I don't want to live!
George: Because of me? You must be joking! Who wouldn't want to live because of me? I'm nothing!
Allison: No... You're something.
George: You can do better than me. You could throw a dart out the window and hit someone better than me!

Peterman: That's right, Elaine. White lotus. Yam-yam. Shanghai Sally.
Elaine: That's impossible, I've never done a drug in my life. Dr. Strugatz must have made a mistake.
Peterman: Not a chance.

Bania: Wait till you try the swordfish. You know Jerry, I was thinking. For our next meal, do you think we should come here ... or should we go someplace else? You know it has it's pros and cons. On the one hand, here, you're guaranteed a great meal. On the other hand --

Jerry: (Interrupting Bania) Yeah, yeah I know. This would be good, but it would be the same. But if we go some place else, it would be different, but it might not be as good. It's a gamble. I get it.

JERRY: (Tapping the door you lift to retrieve your candy on the machine) I think the candy comes out over there.
GEORGE: People can drop change down here, Jerry. And they're too lazy to pick it up.
JERRY: Either that, or they've got a little hang-up about lying face-down in filth.

[trigstarr]

Can't find the exact wording of the quote. Something like...

Jerry: I don't know where all this weight is coming from..
Kramer: It's probably from the oreos.
Jerry: I don't eat oreos.
Kramer: You don't eat oreos. I mean you take 'em, and you twist 'em, and you dunk 'em.

Also, I'm not sure why but I always laugh at this. I think it's Kramer's assumption that Jerry must eat oreos.

[2/325Falcon]

George tries to get fired from the Yankees:

STEINBRENNER: We wanna look to the future, we gotta tear down the past. Babe Ruth was nothing more than a fat old man, with little-girl legs. And here's something I just found out recently. He wasn't really a sultan. Ah, what d'you make of that? Hey, check this out. (he stands to reveal he's wearing baseballpants) Lou Gehrig's pants. Not a bad fit. (a thought occurs) Hey, you don't think that nerve disease of his was contagious, do you? Uh, I better take 'em off. I'm too important to this team. (removes the pants to reveal his boxers)
Big Stein can't be flopping and twitching.

Most of the Steinbrenner stuff is great.

[chicken10der]

George's dad (Frank Costanza) is the most under-rated character on the show.

(on Jerry's answering machine) - "Jerry, it's Frank Costanza, Mr. Steinbrenner’s here, George is dead, call me back"

Anything he yells is hilarious - plus anything about Festivus.

[SoCal11053]

"You're killing independent George"