Kinda weird situation...

[ggbman]

I would be too. Infering that i am that type of guy from my OP would be prtty crazy though. I am not friend with those types of people.

[El Diablo]

gg,

If I were your friend, I'm not sure what would piss me off more, all your physical flirting w/ her or that AIM BS talking about me.

[El Diablo]

gg,

Why have you created a relationship w/ this girl where she feels it appropriate to come to you to complain about her boyfriend problems?

As someone said earlier, it's like you're "fake-dating" her and sure seems like, at least at some level, you want her.

[ggbman]

Wow dude you are a NUT. I didn't create any sort of relationship with her. I was sitting class today when she imed me and asked me if i wanted to go to that thing. i was sitting in my room when she imed be to bitch about her BF. When she did, i told her not to over-react.

She wanted to talk to me and tell me what was bothering her about the relationship tonight, so i went to dinner with her and one of her friends. Apparently this weekend, her BF got drunk, tired to kiss some othe chick, and was consistently trying to hook up with other chicks. She considers me a friend, and she wanted to vent. Maybe you have never had girls feel comfortable enough talking to you to have that experience? If so that is pretty sad. I think you constantly forget that they are both my friends, it's not I like i met her through him. He just happens to be my friend as well.

Also, at dinner i told her she reminded me of my sister. Even someone as thick as you are being right now knows you don't say that to someone you "want on some level." For me, our relationship is clearly defined, she just happens to feel comfortably talking to me about this stuff. Personally, she wouldn't be in my top 5 if i needed to vent, but it's not my fault she wants to discuss it with me.

[Catch of the Day]

I think you hit it on the head. Using an inflamatory example to illustrate a point...But the point is still a sound one and applies.

[ QUOTE ]
me not taking a strong stance against her being flirty and me not taking a strong stance against hooking up with me are different.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is where you get into trouble. Being ok with her 'flirting' seems 'a dick move' imo. And a common one made among guys I think. This chick seems to be hinting that she wants you and seems to be sublety letting you know. You obviously are getting that impression at least. Yet you feel justified in playing a passive role as if the blame lies solely on her.

I think there is a line, and where that line lies depends on the people involved. When a friend's lady is giving you the impression that her intentions are other than 'friendly' I would advise that you address it. The reason my advice is as such is simply because I would want a friend to do the same for me.

It's just a general mindset that we all struggle with.

This girl my friend is seeing wants me to bad? Your play?

Is she hot?
Will he find out?
SIIHP!
Are they dating?
Will he care?
Will you be wasted at the time?
etc.etc.etc.

Curse these penis's...

[ggbman]

Catch,

You sound like a really good guy, definitly a very loyal friend. As i have said, i could/should have be more closed off about the flirting. In my mind, i don't think that was great, but i acknowledge i was too drunk to really think it through at the time. With that said, for me the line is clear. When talking on AIM, Diablo asked me "If they break up and she comes and strips the next day in your room, could you say no?" Sure, i could and i would.

Just because one of my friends is going out with another one doesn't mean i can't be friends with her. That's all we are. There is no gray line for me, because i won't hook up with her, and i generally do discourage he from being flirty with me, i jsut happened to post 1 single example where i didn't and Diablo jumped on it. I could post examples of tonight where i discouraged her from flirting, but i mean i don't think i need to impress Diablo, i just don't appreciate my charecter being attacked. Zeroing on one case where i might have been able to be a better friend when i was trashed, as opposed to recogzing attempts i make to soothe things over between them and saying that i "created some inappropriate relationship with" is just silly IMO.

[El Diablo]

gg,

"Wow dude you are a NUT. I didn't create any sort of relationship with her."

I might be a nut, but at least I know what the word relationship means.

"She wanted to talk to me and tell me what was bothering her about the relationship tonight, so i went to dinner with her and one of her friends."

Yeah, see, in my circles, we don't go out to dinner w/ our close friend's girlfriend to talk about what's bothering her about her relationship.

"Maybe you have never had girls feel comfortable enough talking to you to have that experience? If so that is pretty sad."

WOW, GABE, YOU REALLY GOT ME THERE!!!!! Please.

Anyway, what's acceptable behavior to you with your close friend's girlfriend is different than what is kosher in my circles, whatever. I choose not to have close friends who think about this like you do, and I'm sure you feel likewise, no biggie.

Let me ask you this, though. Does your close friend know that you have these conversations with his girlfriend about their relationship?

[El Diablo]

Catch,

Again, good post.

[pmdvert18]

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[pmdvert18]

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