[daveT]

I have dated two girls that used to cut themselves. It was shocking the first time this was revealed to me and down right shuddering the second.

My mother is sort of a nut-job. As the saying goes, we all look for our mother's in life.

Now that I have blunt about myself, I would like to be blunt with you. The main similarity (hang-up) with both of these girls was that they had issues with there father's. The first one wished that he was there more, and missed him. The other was smacked around by him, but was also ignored as well. I can relate to the posts about not feeling like the ideal child. My mother wanted a girl, and told me that on several occasions. I have been to child therapists, at the time it did not help, nor did it help any other child I knew. This is because at that age I didn't understand what they were saying to me. Though I did learn a lot from them, I was too stubborn to let anything meaningful happen in my life.

The old adage about baggage is true. As much as I hate to admit it, the things that happened when I was younger still have a very strong effect on my life-style, self-esteem, and especially relationships, including passing friends and girlfriends.

The only thing that I can say is that you should spend more time with her, and tell yourself everyday that you do like her. I hope that for her sake that you start tonight.