[galahad_187]

also make sure when you reward her you reward her /effort/ not her /results/. if you have two children and child a is brilliant and makes A's and B's with little to no effort why should child A be be rewarded more than child B who studies for hours every night, sweats every test, and makes b's and c's. Why be proud of what your given? be proud of what you work for.

that being said i find it wierd how so many people recommend constant grounding and punishment. I have a friend that was heavily punished and sheltered all the time. he hated his parents, was completely miserable, felt little love from them, and ultimatly rebelled completely the second he was able to leave home.

Punishing bad acts are important but it must be known and /shown/ that the ACT is bad and not the CHILD.
punishment should:
1)fit the crime
2)be made out to be 'her choice.' ex: she chose to lie about not having homework, so she chose to have a teacher sign something with all her homework assignments on it everyday. She also chose to show you that she completed all her homework every night and has studied for every test.
3)should be conveyed without raising your voice. Your actions speak plenty loud and yelling accoimplishes only making things more emotional. More emotion is probably the last thing a young girl needs.

She needs not only your love but your affection and attention. Counceling can't be bad advice. It may make her feel like an outsider but hell, she already does. I'd rather my child be a mentally stable outsider than an unstable conformer/socially accepted.