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Old 03-22-2006, 07:25 PM
Blarg Blarg is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2004
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Default Re: When you have a daughter....

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This comes from the perspective of a recent high school/college student.

First, I think it is important to instill a sense of parental expectation for the child to earn good grades. Most children do not like dissapointing their parents. If children know you will be dissapointed by them earning bad grades they will be more likley to work hard in school.

Expensive rewards are unneccisary. Recognition of hard work is important though. Even though my father had a very lucrative job, I was expected to get good grades and I did. After my good report card my Parents would buy me pizza or take me out to dinner. Although this was not a large gift, the recognition was benificial.

About the text messaging. I think it is important for parents consumption and purchasing of items to be reflective of what they think their children should purchase. If parents buy expensive clothing, drive expensive cars, or have expensive gadgets, I think this value of material wealth is reflected onto children.

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Agreed. One of the hardest parts of parenting for a great many people is that they simply are nowhere up to the standards they set for their kids. So their parenting becomes, "Do as I say, not as I do."

And, kids not being stupid, lose enormous respect for their parents when they see that they can't even uphold the standards they profess to believe in, and often don't even try.

Kids will learn from role models, good or bad. If you want your kids to be shallow, be shallow yourself. If you want them to be insufferable snobs, be sure to be one. If you want them to unappreciative of anything less than designer goods, be sure to sneer at same yourself. But if you want them to listen to you, listen to them. If you want them to behave well, behave well yourself. If you want them to understand the value of improving your mind, don't sit in front of the t.v. all day. If you want them to learn the value of self control, show a little discipline yourself.

Parents often talk the talk and don't walk the walk. But one of the hardest things about having kids is doubtless that you really need to grow up yourself. Kids will always come up with their own flaws, but they'll inherit almost every one of yours if you don't clean up your own act.
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