[Hopey]

You're reading way too much into the point I was trying to convey. My post was as a response to a poster stating (I'm paraphrasing here) "No kid needs a cell phone, so I'm not going to allow her to have one". It was the knee-jerk reaction of the poster that I was commenting on. Times have changed, and that the majority of kids these days have cell phones. They're both conveniences and toys that are a method for kids to socialize with each other. They don't *need* them, but neither do they (or you) need the majority of the toys that they ask for.

I'm not advocating spoiling your child. I just don't think that allowing your child to own a cell phone (and act responsibly with it) in itself constitutes spoiling your child in this day and age. I don't believe that the idea of getting a teenager a cell phone as a gift should be seen as some monumental battle of wills between you and your kids. Cell phones are ubiquitous within our society, and are something that our kids will simply accept as a normal modern convenience. However, we can still remember the days when cell phones were not commonplace (and were the size of a large shoe) and were tremendously expensive, and the idea of a teenager owning one seems a bit "off" to us.

I'm hoping that my kids won't want cell phones for the sole reason that their friends have them. I want my kids to be individuals, but I won't force individuality on them simply for its own sake.

Perhaps I'll tell them that if they're old enough to want thing such as a phone, they're old enough to get a part-time job to purchase and pay for such a phone. Perhaps I'll purchase one for them as a Christmas gift with a set of conditions attached that they must live up to in order to keep it.

What I won't do, is forbid them from owning one simply because *I* think they're annoying or a waste of money. I'll let them know about the expense involved, etc... but it'll be up to them whether they really want one in the end. They'll be paying the bill for it, and they'll have to decide if it is worth the expense. If it's important to them, they'll make their payments and monitor their usage. If they screw up and can't make a payment on their phone, they'll lose it and hopefully learn a lesson in the process.

What I won't do is forbid them from owning a phone, simply because *I* see no value in it. There's a fine line between instilling your values in your child, and allowing your child to become his/her own person. Trying to control the minutiae of your child's life and desires becomes smothering to your child, and leads to resentment later on.

And the resentment won't come *solely* because you didn't purchase your child a cell phone. That's obviously not the case. Actually, it'll probably have nothing to do with it. It'll come because of all the times that you told your child that what he/she wants is "stupid" and that how he/she feels about the subject is irrelevant. It's not letting your child make mistakes, or to have an opinion that's different than your own. That's where the resentment comes from.