[Hopey]

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Raise your kid smart and able to make the right choices, and then you won't have to do the quick fix such as "Get good grades I'll buy you a phone"

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I struggle with this. Where do you draw the line between bribery and teaching them the value of earning something they really want?

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I agree with the previous poster that you shouldn't have to bribe your kids in order for them to do well in school. You should teach them the value in an education, and their motivation will hopefully come from within themselves.

That being said, ocassionally rewarding your kids for working hard is not being a bad parent. It's just one more way of showing them that you can respect and appreciate the amount of work that they've done, and that you are proud of them.

I don't think that a 1:1 relationship between rewards and good grades is a good idea. However, giving your kid an unexpected treat every so often after he/she has worked his tail off is not being bad parent.

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I agree 100% with the grades thing. I meant more in a general sense that it's something I struggle with.

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Ah. I understand your statement more now. The problem is that working hard in school should not correlate to receiving a gift as a result. That's bribery. I believe that the gift should come as a result of you being proud of your children and wanting to treat them. It's when the "treat" becomes expected that it turns back into a "bribe", though. For this reason, I think that gifts of this nature should be given sparingly.

Now, if my child tells me that he really wants something in particular, I would have no problem with the idea of him doing extra chores in order to earn the money to pay for it. This is teaching him the value of money and hard work. It's not a bribe.