[Hopey]

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Raise your kid smart and able to make the right choices, and then you won't have to do the quick fix such as "Get good grades I'll buy you a phone"

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I struggle with this. Where do you draw the line between bribery and teaching them the value of earning something they really want?

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I agree with the previous poster that you shouldn't have to bribe your kids in order for them to do well in school. You should teach them the value in an education, and their motivation will hopefully come from within themselves.

That being said, ocassionally rewarding your kids for working hard is not being a bad parent. It's just one more way of showing them that you can respect and appreciate the amount of work that they've done, and that you are proud of them.

I don't think that a 1:1 relationship between rewards and good grades is a good idea. However, giving your kid an unexpected treat every so often after he/she has worked his tail off is not being bad parent.

I think the reward needs to come *after* the hard work, and not as a condition for them to work hard.

It's "I know how hard you worked to bring up your grades, and I'm really proud of you. I also know how much you wanted a cell phone, so I went out and found this one for you. I don't want you to expect me to buy you something every time you do well in school, I'm hoping that you'll understand that it's important to do well in school so that you can have options in your future. However, I am so proud of you that I wanted to do something to make you happy so I bought you the phone" as opposed to "If you bring up your grades I'll buy you a cell phone".