[Dominic]

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It's just not going to happen, guys. the following trip report is going to disappoint you a great deal, as to me it reads like someting out of freakin dirty romance novels until you hit the end where nothing happens.

Earlier this afternoon we were talking about some [censored] or another in my room and urbandictionary.com was being used, and i slyly mentioned having looked up something she mentioned a few weeks ago. she got semi pissed when i didn't tell her what the word was.

fast forward to 5 hours later. (EDIT: we've moved to her room, and i am drinking beers and reading SSHE while she is studying for an exam) she bribes me to tell her the first letter and how many letters the word is by letting me brush her ridiculously awesome hair. at first i was like um, hell no, that's a pretty crappy deal. but then i realized the opportunities having my hands in her hair would afford, so i agreed. ~30 minutes later she's still sitting there with the notecard wheel-of-fortune stlye trying to figure out the word, and i convince her out of her jeans and into shorts she got the other day that are maybe 6 inches long. at this point im sitting on her bed behind her in a low-to-the floor chair, ogling her legs propped on the fridge and by this point mostly just trying to keep my hands on her neck instead of hair as much as possible (like most girls, her neck is a big turn-on zone, or so she says and i believe)

a while of this goes by and i'm moving my hands out and basically rubbing her shoulders, going a little up and down a few inches on the sides of her arms with my fingers. this goes on for 2-3 minutes when she goes "um, you're not doing the thing with my hair." and leans forward a bit. i say something along the lines of "heh well i just enjoying myself" and she says "Not. Part. Of. The. Deal." ouch.

few more minutes goes by, she is freaking out trying to get the word (which the entire time i'm trying to convince her is not worth her time to try to guess...i dunno if i was being retarded or using reverse psych. probably retarded reverse psych.) and i talk her out of the zip-down sweater she is wearing over a tiny little frilly shirt underneath.

so at this point i have talked her out of her jeans into short-shorts, her sweater down to something that she probably wouldn't wear out often (at school), and i'm all up in her hair and back of her neck. she solves the word with the newest letter in ~10 seconds, puts back on and zips up the sweatshirt, and says she wants to go to sleep now.

BZZZZZT.


EDIT: the word was not disgusting, but it's also something i don't care to repost here. it may have had a little to do with her giving me the boot (it was something we had discussed a few weeks back after our little make-out session, when she mentioned something she likes better than just kissing. i wanted to see a general populace definition of the word rather than what i had in my head. she had the information when trying to guess the word that i had looked it up to see what she had meant by it rather than my personal definition.

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Doc. The priesthood is calling. Seriously...you need to give up on women. This is beyond painful to read.