[Blarg]

[ QUOTE ]
Hopey:

That situation is as close to this as any I ever heard. If by "got farther" you mean the make-out thing that doesn't really count, she's made a comment about how that was pretty much meaningless.

We've only done the "stop talking to me for a while" thing 2 or 3 times over 2 years, and actually they were all at my (yelling or typing in all caps when applicable) request. which is what Blarg seems to want me to redo. I almost feel as if I'd be better off mentally by dealing with THIS until the summertime when hopefully both of us are busy at jobs and things fall apart naturally. of course that didnt happen any of the other summers we've known each other. maybe when we graduate in may '07. [censored] me running.

[/ QUOTE ]

What I want is for you to get a life outside of her -- a life in other words.

You want to wait till summer to get one, or till things somehow magically take care of themselves? What if they don't? Why should you wait?

It's this wishy-washy passiveness that makes you exhibit less of the confidence and decisiveness that women find attractive in men.

The richer the life you have outside her, the richer your life will be with her or with anyone else. As long as she's got you tied around her little finger with nowhere else to go as an emotional or sexual outlet, she'll have no reason to give you anything more than you're already getting. She'll have no competition from other interests, other women, or a higher level of self-respect from you. She'll see the diminished picture of you that you've shown her is an acceptable way to regard you. And until you or some other women see you as anything else but so diminished, why should she?

You're giving her nothing to work with here.

Don't you want more out of life? Because you're not going to get any more doing the same old thing, running the same dead end over and over. Isn't this kind of like that definition of zealotry -- forgetting your goal but doubling your efforts? You seem almost zealous about going nowhere.