[Blarg]

It's not necessarily outright malicious, though some of that is there, so much as totally egocentric.

It boosts her ego enormously, and she appears to enjoy this and maybe even need it, since it's leading her to, frankly, degrade you, which is taking ego needs too far. She's not just enjoying your attention in a merely healthy way, but taking the next step.

Your merely showing up, even when she basically gives you nothing, makes her feel not just ordinarily but extraordinarily sexually validated without even having to bother with anything so human and messy as, oh, sex. Or intimacy. Anything that would truly put her to the test and make HER take a risk too, and perhaps come up short. As it is, you're buying the cow but not even asking for the milk, so she gets all the benefits, to an immature mind, of being wanted without any of the scary potential downsides. Eliminate contact from happening, and it can't go wrong?

In the state of suspended animation she has placed both your and her sexuality in(at least, she puts hers to sleep when she's around YOU), it's a perfect world for her of all receiving without having to give, all benefitting without having to risk.

For a very immature person, which it sounds like she is, this is sexuality as a non-sexual paradise, as if she were still in a world with unicorn pillows and Ken and Barbies that only had a strange non-descript smoothness where their goodies should be. It's an infantile satisfaction she's going for, and by roping you in, she's making you infantile too.

You don't need to give her money. You're a sexless Ken preserving her Barbie state of mind. You're both preventing each other from growing up, which is a good deal if you're scared of your sexuality. Who else would willingly enter this hallucination with her? Sorry if it sounds harsh, but guys as willing to cut their nuts off as you are not all that easy to find.

What do you think she gets out of this relationship that a mature adult would want? That a caring adult would want? That an adult interested in f*cking you would want?

Seriously.

She should thank you for preserving her childhood, in this Never Never Land where little boys, and girls, never grow up and never need put their feet with an unsatisfying thump on the same, plain old ground everyone else has to walk on. Or maybe she should curse you? Because it's not really doing her any good either. Maybe she just thinks it is, because that's all she knows and all she has the courage to know. I don't think your playing along is helping.