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How is it anything but this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDecLiA_Qbw
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I haven't seen this before and half the speech has been ruined for me by The Big Lebowski. I can't stop laughing at the 'When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment ago was your best friend's face!' bit. John Goodman is a [censored] legend.