[aislephive]

A couple years ago I was making soup or something on my stove and left the spoon I was using to stir in the pot. Like a complete dumbass, a minute or two later I come back to check on it and try to pick up the spoon. Within minutes my thumb swells up like a fetus and starts throbbing uncontrollably.

Before that when I was in 9th grade I used a steak knife to cut open a bagel and cut the tip of my ring finger pretty good. Had to get it stitched up and all that jazz, and I have a slight scar where it happened that will be there for life.