[PhilBeans]

Ok everybody, I'm dirt broke and wont get any cash until at least Thursday. I need a way to get some liquor in me because I'm a down and out alky. I'm actually drinking the last liquor in my house right now. It's some old ass port wine.
Heres what I'm up against. I have no car, my transportation is a bike. I dont have any friends in the area to borrow from. Bartenders around here are stingy and will definately not comp me any drinks.
Here are my ideas.....I dont have any. For all of you suggesting get a job, quit drinking etc. these are not options. I'm looking for a creative response at least, but nothing that will send me to prison. Help.