[JaredL]

Something that amazes me about dog owners is how much people act like they're humans.

We go to the dog park about once a day and there is a group of women there that are the standard upper middle class mid 30s, dog, probably not married and probably don't have kids complain about everything and everyone they know type. They don't talk about husbands or kids at all and given how much and the way they talk about their dogs I would bet a fair amount of money that they don't have kids and the dogs are substitutes.

One of them has a dog that quite regularly gets into it with other dogs. More than just playing, but not too bad for the most part. When he or the other dogs bark she yells "Tucker be nice!" or some variation such as be gentle. One day when he was particularly grabbed his collar and held him there telling him he was in a time out when he moved to go play again. She ended the time out by telling him that this was the second time he'd been bad and if it happened again they were leaving. She was 100% serious and based on her body language and what she said afterwards to her friends it was clear that she had at least some expectation that this sort of thing would work.

Another time I was there, there was a dog that was all about humping other dogs. He humped my dog when she came in but she's fixed so whatever. A lady brought in her poodle and this dog assumed the position. When this happened she started freaking out running to them and yelling. I thought ok, wouldn't be my choice to bring an unaltered female into the dog park. The dog once again tried to get on the poodle. When this happened the owner of the humper told her his dog was fixed. She calmed down somewhat but later she called her husband or someone and was saying she didn't know what to do and still acting like it was a big deal. Then her dog came over and I noticed that it was a male. So she freaked out because some dog was humping on her male dog. I mean, if I just started humping some dudes ass in the street that would be highly inappropriate, but they're dogs not people.

Then there is the much more standard let's try to figure out what the dogs are thinking game.