[bisonbison]

Eight things I know:

1. She doesn't love you.
2. You don't love her.
3. Your marriage was an empty soulless shell for a long time before she strayed, and that bothers you so little that you want to go back to the exact circumstances that encouraged her to risk all her friends and family in the first place.
4. If someday her relationship with this guy ends and she makes an overture to you, she will spend one evening with you then go home and cry for two days.
5. If she comes back at any point you will drag each other and your kids into an abyss of despair deeper than all human comprehension.
6. You're keeping yourself above water with a white-knuckle grip on your all-consuming rage and pain. Get therapy.
7. Your kids aren't broken or even close to hopeless, but they need your help and you can't help them until you accept that your wife wants nothing to do with you, the guy she doesn't love at all, at all ever again for any reason whatsoever and get some help for yourself.
8. Right now you're trying to win an argument with your wife. You can't. It takes two parties to argue, and she has quit the game.