[Coffee]

1/2 NL live game. I straddle for 4 bucks, and get 3 limpers around to me, including the Volcano Tilt dude at the other end of the table. I look down and see that I've woken up with QQ...so I raise to 20, which is pretty standard in this game. Volcano Tilt is my only caller. Hand plays out with me betting 2/3s of the pot the whole way, and MHIG. VT goes ballistic, screaming at the top of his lungs, but seems more angry at the world and poker than me, so I say nothing.

The next round, I straddle again. I get three limpers again, including VT. I look down and amazingly see QQ yet again. So...as before, I raise to 20, and VT is the only caller. Hand plays out precisely as it did the round before, and VT goes absolutely apeshit. He is screaming, cursing, and making the biggest scene possible. If this had been a real casino, I'm sure he would've been escorted out, but this was in a club game in Dallas, so you get a bit more leeway. Anyway, he's still raging, but starts to walk back to the table. As he does, he looks me in the eye and says,

"How the [censored] do you have Queens twice in the straddle???!!!"

Without thinking, I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind,

"That's just how I roll."