[MicroBob]

my opinion of the e-mail as requested by the OP:

1. their condescending use of "good players, such as yourself" probably needs to be changed. But I guess almost all of the e-mail is going to obviously try to appease the morons who think it's the fault of the site that the cards are somehow not running 'normal' like they do live, etc etc.

2. Looks like a pretty decent e-mail from their support to me. Although evidently they need to simplify the language even more than they already do so that even the dumbest of the dumb can understand. This is clearly the standard e-mail they constructed ahead of time to try to explain to the constant complainers who say "OMGZZ!! these cards aren't the same" and it seems fine to me but obviously some players who think the site is out to get him or that the cards just "aren't normal" are going to read something into it that isn't there at all.

Based on the OP's reaction to the e-mail and supposedly that other people agree with him that there is something dastardly in there I'm thinking perhaps FT and Stars and other sites trying to actually be polite while explaining this stuff should just go the Kyleb route and respond, "Only morons think the cards somehow run differently just for them. Have a nice day."

That's probably not such a great idea though unfortunately.
I'm sure these decently written form e-mails they send to the complainers actually do make at least partial sense to SOME of their recipients.