Re: A revision of the OP and some new questions
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I have been married for 13 years, I have two children, 12 & 10 years old. After our second child, my wife became pregnant a third time-- at this point she was over 40 years old. We lived in a cramped house in a nice neighborhood, both worked and felt that the addition of another child would put a strain on our marriage, and our ability to nurture and provide what we wanted to provide for our first two children. We mutually decided that an abortion was in the best interest of the entire family. I have little doubt that this was the correct decision.
That said, we extinguished our potential 3rd child, and when I consider how much I love my children, and how irreplaceable they are, I am filled with regret and remorse.
I am sure my wife feels the same way. But, fortunately we are together, we have two wonderful kids that we provide for and are developing beautifully. The loss of a potential third child is OUR burden to bear emotionally and to regret when we think about it.
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Thank you for sharing this. It is a good example of how abortion is not just for crack whores or teenage delinquents. I think people sometimes forget that.
I have a question though, and I want to be as considerate as possible:
Do you regret not having all the potential babies you could have had, or still can have, if you and your wife wouldn't use birth control (and/or various birth control methods)? What about the aborted one makes you regret it and feel remorse for aborting it? Is it just the amount of time she carried it? Or something else?
A lot of people don't realize that around 50% of all pregnancies result in a natural abortion (usually not implanting on the uterine wall). Some people don't realize that most birth control pills just help this natural phenomenon -- by not allowing the fertilized egg to implant. I don't think many people regret these natural abortions. My guess is that it's because they weren't around very long, and didn't have time to start to become emotionally attached to the future potential person. I'm just wondering if that is why you think you feel remorse about your decision to abort?
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