I am pretty sure your TV is the issue here. Most likely you do not know how to configure it.
The reason wide screen is better is; you get to see more of the picture, meaning if you are watching in 4:3, the sides of the movie are getting cut off.
Ben HUr was shot in 2.76:1. If you watch it in 4:3, you would be leaving so much out it would be sick.
Most likely you would only see the horse, possibly even the outside horses would be cut off.
So if you really like movies, and cinematography, you should always watching 16:9 as a minimum. If there are better ratios, go for them.
Anyway, post an a audio video forum to find out how to configure your TV.