Here's Bourdain's latest blog entry on Ruhlman's site. It was good to see he was as cynical as I was about the tetchy, very set up way that JAG had to "apologize".
TOP SECRET!
After the confusing, frighteningly eerie, Soviet style public "confession on NFNS last week, I put out feelers to sympathizers within The Organization. The following completely unverifiable document, alleged to be an internal memorandum from the Ministry of Information to the Central Committee, arrived anonymously immediately following last night's final episode:
"CLASSIFIED: NOT FOR DISSEMINATION! EYES ONLY!
"Citizen JAG did his duty, and 'repented' to Comrades Tuschman and Fogelson as arranged. His words, as written by this officer Ministry of Information, expressed appropriate regret--and most importantly, released the Central Committe from blame or liability for his Crimes. Comrade Tuschman's remarks concerning: "rumors swirling around" are to be commended for their deflection of further questions from the organs of the press. Citizen JAG's 'resignation' was accepted by the Comrades as agreed and he was--on recommendation from the Directorate of Propaganda--invited to join the Victorious Mayday Celebration at which time the "winner" was to be announced. Citizen Amy was returned from Re-Education Camp where she had been undergoing treatment for Anti-Party Utterances like "cocotte" and for suspicion of Foreign Influences.
During a film presentation to the audience, the lingering question of Citizen Rory's state of origin was neatly deflected--before it could become a problem. Agent Mark Somers, (Code Name: Unctuous Haircut) did a masterful job of keeping the Glorious Ceremonies moving. The former contestants were invited to return and to meet with the Old Comrades and to exchange expressions of Solidarity and Party Spirit before a compliant audience bussed in by our comrades at the Ministry of Transportation. (May I commend them on their work. They would laugh and cheer for a colostomy of requested to do so).
Old Comrade Flay made a serious slip at this time, making reference to the Group of Three who, he claimed, "started" the Network. To compound his Error, he made specific reference to Former Old Comrade Mario--whose photograph we had just succeeded in deleting from our literature and lobby mural. This smacks of Calumny Against The Brand, and the Glorification of the Individual vs. the State. Comrade Flay will be advised of his transgression in private session with the Security Directorate.
Old Comrade Lagasse did his Duty, making a personal appearance. His demeanor, while subdued, did not( as yet) reflect his disappointment with his change of time slot. Suggest an Award of some kind-perhaps at South Beach this year, commending him for his years of service--before retiring him.. This is a problem we have disussed at length with the Committee. Security Directorate, as you know, suggests a more..final approach. This Dept. would have to agree. The Old Comrade does not, as you know, fit in with our plans for the New Vanguard.
Nor does Citizen Amy.
Reeducation has its limits. And her French ways and lack of blondeness pose a serious problem in future. That the viewing audience was allowed to publicly rebuke the Committee by voting her the winner could have been embarrassing to the Maximum Leader--who Herself graciously consented to congratulate the victor. Fortunately, we followed the dictum that "When Confronted with a Steaming, Embarrassing Turd on the Floor, Cover It With Baloons." and it--once again, proved a successful strategy.
Sincerely,
Name Blacked Out Here
Deputy Director, Ministry of Information and Special Services
Food Network"
Ruhlman's blog where Bourdain often guest blogs