[Los Feliz Slim]

Doc,

I was once a wuss like you, so I'm going to try to help where so many other smart, well-intentioned posters have failed. They have given you golden advice, spelled it out for you, and you have [censored] upon them and disappointed us all.

STOP doing what you think you're "supposed" to so and START doing what YOU want to do. This is the only way you're going to have a satisfying relationship with ANYONE. Or satisfying life, for that matter. This is going to require you to acquire some self-confidence and dignity, though, so buck up. Even if you end up miracle-ing your way into having sex with this girl, it's going to be on her terms, not yours, and that's the way it's always going to be.

No "deals" for kisses. No "asking" for kisses, you [censored] pansy. If we read about you asking to kiss her again, we're going to find out where you live and it's not going to be pretty. DETERMINE WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. ACT UPON YOUR DESIRES. DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES ACCORDINGLY.

This is how you'll end up happy. Fortunately, women are also attracted by this approach and attitude and will find you irresistable once you start taking the bull by the horns.