[deadbody]

I worked at a gas station many years back, when pay at the pump was a new thing, not the common place convience we all now consider it. I'm the only person in the store on a busy saturday afternoon (common occurance) so I was unable to leave the counter. Layout of the station was pretty simple, 4 pumps on each side of the store, 1-4 on your left, 5-8 on your right. I suck at the MS paint thing, so accept that odd pumps faced me, and even pumps faced out (so I couldn't see them except to see if a car was at them or not).

Customer comes in
c: "ya need to turn on pump 8" in his best hill folk drawl (this was in MN)
D: "it is on sir, you need to select cash or credit" (keep in mind that I have a line at the window and this yahoo just yelled over the line at me)
c: "no you's pump ain't working, turn on pump 8"
D: "It is on sir, you need to press the cash button or the credit button." (I continue to help customers)
c: (now pushing his way to the front of the line) "Turn on pump 8 smarta$$"
D: "It is on sir, you need to select cash or credit"
c: (knowledge starting to creep into his eyes) "How'd I do that?"
D: "You see the orange box out there on Pump 5?"
c: "But I'm on pump 8"
D: "Yes I understand sir, it's the same on pump 8, now you see that orange box on pump 5"
c: (petulantly like a 5 year old) "But I'm on pump 8"
D: "I understand that sir, it's the same on pump 8, do you see the orange box on pump 5?"
c: (now acting like I'm the idiot) "But I'm on pump 8"
D: "I give up, maybe someone out there can help you, NEXT"

someone did help him, and when he came in to pay, he asked why I did such a bad job of explaining things. It took all my willpower not to throttle him on the spot.