[ProfessorBen]

A stupid bitch called the floor to ID me yesterday at Commerce. She was fat, ugly, and preggo.(Beat for her, Bad Beat for the guy)

I raised AJs in MP/LP and she 3-bet OTB or HJ. We saw a HU flop of KQx where I had a BDFD. I raised her looking for a free card or to fold JJ-99. Unnecessary it was because she didn't fold and the turn came a Ten. I bet/3-bet her to oblivion and prayed the board didn't pair b/c she almost certainly has QQ or KK here. The poker gods obviously favor the fabulously attractive and despise Uggos so the river answered with a resounding blank.

I was scooping the pot when she started to talk. "OMG He raised me on the flop with NOTHING! BLAH BLAH BLAH!" I do my customary thing and just ignore her while she continues to steam. Sometime during the next hand, she turns to me:

Uggo: Are you even 21? *turns to dealer* He doesn't look 21 does he?
Ben: *continues to ignore her*
Uggo: No, I'm being serious. You don't look legal here at all.

At this point, she's crossed the line. She isn't floor, doesn't work here, and is shooting a [censored] angle. I'm also little scared because I don't want any trouble. I urge her to quiet down by telling her to "Shhhhhhh..." and put 1 finger over my lips. She doesn't stop and continues to talk to the table and then comes back at me again. This time, I tell her "Shhhhhh... I'm busy trying to stack your chips."

She shuts her trap at this point but mutters that she'd like to run that hand another 100 times to which I thought about challenging her to a HU match of some form, but she says nothing else. However, a few hands later, she walks over to Christina(South/Eastern European lady), the floor, and they talk and both look over at me for a second. I smile and give Christina a very fake, friendly wave. They finish talking and Christina comes over and asks to see my ID. I tell her that before I show her my ID, I want to know why she's asking and relay the story again. I show Christina my ID and get back to playing after we babble for a bit. Guy who isn't too fond of me to my immediate right(because I didn't chop 5-handed) says that I didn't do anything wrong. The whole table chimes in though I don't really care about their opinions.

Lady leaves the table and comes back 6-7 hours later as I'm still playing and she gets seated right next to me. I think about embarrassing her with a line like "Next time, make sure you're right about someone's age so you don't look stupid." but I just stare her down as she tries to avoid my eyes.

Serious business, indeed.