[Burdzthewurd]

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ElD,
a battle rap might not be a problem for you, but then imagine he had composed an operette about that same topic and you were sitting there. What do you do?

Obv. you can't let this happen to you. Nobody can. And I personally think this is one of the situations where it's ok to break the mood, i.e. stand up, get in his face and remind him that he is the one looking like a little girl with his skinny arms and stuff and that he is severly risking getting his face broken. I mean his actions are so clearly designed to humiliate you in front of that one girl. You might look like a dick or someone with little humor. But deep down everybody knows that just sitting there, squeezing out a smile is WAY worse. At least I stepped up for myself.
I'm not a guy who gets into fights and stuff. But sometimes a douche like that guy just needs to be put into perspective...

Edit: that 2nd paragraph was a more general statement and wasn't directed specifially at ElD. Just wanted to make that clear.

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guids' stoned observations:


imo, to be the guy that confronts his buddy in this situations is not what I want to be. Strive to be the guy that no one would even think about doing something as lame as rapping about your dick.

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This is absolutely true. Once your friends are stepping to you like this you've already gone way wrong. You react, you're an [censored], unless you're capable of throwing out a super-creative gem on the spot. You don't, you're a bitch. One of the better solutions is to not call douche cookies like this your 'best friend,' but that's kind of closing the gate after the horse; the real solution, as guids said, is to be the sort of guy to whom this sort of thing just doesn't happen. Sadly, if you ARE that guy, I have no idea how to un-be that guy.

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If this happens, you've probably seen it coming but ignored your reads on the guy because, well, you're some combination of a puss, too socially dependent on him and/or the crowd he's with, and deluded. Or maybe trapped in the room with him because you're just with a crowd that gets along with him and you're a gambler. But guys like this usually telegraph their act either long before launch or immediately as soon as you get to know them -- they just come in as dickwads from the get go.

I think guids is getting at least partially at having the physical presence that twerps don't dare cross you. But I've seen twerps act up to those guys too. They often know they can get away with it in situations even if they get smacked, because everyone will be down on you for smacking a twerp, even if he was begging for it. They can carry that as a sort of odd trump card they can play against you whether you smack 'em or not. That said, there's a lot to be said for smacking 'em.

But that's a risk some loudmouth twerps are more than willing to take, so being physically intimidating isn't necessarily going to prevent anything. The real thing you need to stop a loudmouth twerp is to be in so tight with the crowd that he gains nothing socially from trying to show you up.

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You're absolutely right, unfortunately. I did lean on him for friends in college, though we met most of the same people simaltaneously, if that counts. Although most think of him fondly, the majority are far closer to me than him. We're two different people; if someone wanted to get high/drunk/party, they'd go to him; if someone wanted to just chill, relax, see a movie, have dinner, I guess PG13-rated fun, they'd go to me (vice versa some of the time, I'm not a total Buzz Killington).

The shittiest thing was that the times he pulled crap like that rap, our mutual friends were too passive to do anything, they'd just let it be. When he kept trying to jump me at his birthday party, the guys let it be, his girlfriend was stoned out of her mind, but what the hell can I do? I didn't let him get a punch in, I held him down, and if I had given him a beating, his roommates had promised to jump right in on his side, and it was his friggin 21st birthday, I wouldn't feel too hot about beating the [censored] out of him even if he deserved it (unless he actively threatened my life with a weapon).

If it were easy as saying he sucks at moderation for drugs/alcohol, I'd do that, since the times he's [censored] with me he has been tripping on acid, had 3-4 bowls by himself, or drank a bottle of Absynthe by himself, but most of the time he did those things (1-2 times a week in college), he wasn't a douche (though it bothered me quite a bit that he got $200 from his parents a month and spent it all on drugs while I worked and paid everything myself).

But it won't be an issue much longer, I told him I never want to hear from him again, that he is no friend to me.