[Mr. Zimmerlin]

Musings From A Man Who Likes Iceberg Lettuce Too Much

I like iceberg lettuce so much, I don’t even consider buying other lettuces in the supermarket, NO MATTER THE COST. This in turn causes FINANCIAL STRESS.

I like iceberg lettuce so much, it causes STRAIN in my relationships with my loved ones.

I like iceberg lettuce so much, I rarely if ever get enough COMPLEX CARBOHYDRATES, leading to MINOR HEALTH PROBLEMS.

I like iceberg lettuce so much, I would consider working on an iceberg lettuce farm, FOR FREE.